Friday, January 21, 2011

Day in Review - Sprucing Up, Learning Chinese and Workout Anxiety

Ni hao. For those of you who do not know, that is Hello in Chinese. I heard on CNN yesterday that all of us should learn Chinese because China will become more integrated into American life in the next 10 years. I am teaching myself how to spell the words in the English Alphabet since my computer won't type Chinese characters. So far I know how to say "Hello", Ni Hao and "I would like an order of sweet and sour chicken, please" - Wo xiang yi tang cu ji zhixu, qing.  I figure that's all I will need to know for today...

Did you notice I have spruced the blog up a bit?  I seriously considered moving it to a new platform, but honestly, I couldn't be bothered with learning a whole new system, so to satisfy my urge for change, I just moved some things around and changed the background.  Nice?  Do you like?  It spoke to me through my screen, so this is the one I chose.

Saw on Huff Post today that Todd Palin is involved in some prostitute/affair scandal...Love it!!!!  I do hope my "best friend" Sarah is all right...All I have to say is karma is a bitch sometimes.

So I am supposed to work out tomorrow....and I am having some anxiety about it.  Not the type of anxiety where I need to pop a few Xanex or anything, but I have always had a fear of working out. It isn't because it's tough...I can handle that. It isn't because I will be sore...that's what Tylenol is for.  The real reason is...well...I am not extremely coordinated. See, I have an issue where I will just randomly trip and fall on my ass sometimes.  No snow, no ice, just walking...I am plain clumsy. There have been many instances where I just fall.  I have broken my wrist twice...once tripping over my dog, once tripping over my iron. I fell in the middle of Central Park once...I have fallen down stairs, I have tripped over air....I spill things on myself all the time, which is why I don't often wear white.  I don't know if this is something I am just naturally excellent at, or if I can blame my parents for crappy genes in the coordination department, but it all comes down to this...I have Workout Anxiety.

This all started when my friend Laurel invited me to check out her new gym with her. I immediately agreed because, at the time, I thought it sounded like a good idea!  I was pumped for about 20 minutes...until I had a vision....it was a vision of me....falling....off an elliptical....in front of one of those big windows where about 20 other people could see me.  Yes...this really happened to me.  I know the person it happened with is probably peeing her pants right now...I know she reads this.  Not only was I mortified beyond belief, but I got hurt! I had a bruise the size of my hand on my leg, a scrape on my arm and hit my head in the process.  Go ahead...you can laugh.  I can laugh about it now, and you better believe the friend I was with was doubled over in laughter the entire time this was going on. (This was not the same friend who was with me in Central Park when I fell in front of about 1000 people, but she laughed too, for the record)

Since I have had this suppressed memory return, I have had anxiety about going. I know I have to do it and I know I need to face my fears. When I get anxiety about one thing, it just naturally leads to something else...I now have anxiety not only about falling, but what I am supposed to wear? Should bring my shoes with me or wear them? (it is snowy out, my sneakers aren't the best snow shoes), Will I remember to put on deodorant? What I should do with my hair? Should I take a shower before and after or just after?  What if I have to pee? What if there is a really hot guy there and I am a sweaty, red faced mess? What if I can't figure out how to work the machines? Ok...I need to stop, because I will need a Xanex if I keep going.

Maybe I should mediate before going....I will keep you posted....

I have never told anyone about this anxiety or the event that led to it.  Of course my friend who was with me knows...and the 20 people who saw know...I'm sure I probably told my dog too, because I tell her random things like that...but now you all know and hopefully you will remember this, if you ever see me at a gym...or even walking down the street, for that matter....take cover...and step away....you may go down with me.

Oh!  I almost forgot!  Seriously...the REAL Russell Simmons friended me on MySpace....RaNdOm!!!!!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Seriously, Christa...you are so funny. I miss hanging out with you. I will never, ever forget that day at the gym as long as I live! I am laughing about it right now!

Cletis said...

Christa, where to begin? First, how do you say, "Please don't send me a photo of your penis." in Chinese? I'm pretty sure you'll need that. Second, when you fall, pop up immediately (regardless if your left arm is where your right leg use to be AND there's no trace at all of said leg)and bow. Third, does the masseuse have any evidence? Was there, for example, a photo of Todd's penis? If so, is it a 3x5 or an 8x10? Might this explain why Sarah is such a bitch?

I absolutely love you. Tomorrow is Creative Sunday. You'll like the short story I have posted. Cletis

PS I am a Scorpio as well.

Cletis said...

"used" to be

Confessionista said...

Cletis...I believe there is proof of Todd's "indiscretions"...I have not seen anything about photo proof though...If I find out anything, I will post it immediately. I have to say though...if I were married to Sarah, I would do the same thing...poor guy...how can he even stand living with that, not to mention have "relations" with her!

Scorpio's are the best. I could talk about being a Scorpio all day long! I am heading over to check out the story!