Thursday, July 21, 2011

Day in Review...When in Hell....DON'T do as the Hellians Do

Some have said the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I can tell you they are wrong...the road to hell is down two flights of stairs, a left at the mail boxes and through the two glass doors...this is coincidentally the path one would take from my apartment to get outside of the building to the sidewalk. 

It's hot.

When it is hot, you should wear deodorant. If you are reading this, please do a "pit check".  No one wants to smell any skanky armpits when they are struggling to breathe in the hellish and heavy air. I experienced this smell...not once...not twice...but three times today on three different people.

Deodorant is is cheap. You can put it in your little purse or pocket.  Put it in your briefcase or glove compartment...just put it somewhere so you can re-apply throughout the day if you need to. There is no shame in checking yourself a few times a day as well. When it feels like 107 degrees outside, you are going to sweat, so please take the time to do a little sniff and make sure all is well in the crook of your arm.

It's hot.

When it is hot, I get want to wear something loose fitting, comfortable, something that breathes...I want that too.  I have lived in tank tops, shorts and flip flops the past few days.

I have NOT, however, showed my tata's to the entire city of Cleveland like the woman who was wearing a very small bikini top and shorty shorts while pumping gas today. Seriously...this woman A) Had no business wearing a bikini and B) Her ass cheeks were hanging OUT of her shorty shorts. looked like she had on pasties with little strings that were holding on for dear life to try to hold her bazongas in. Not attractive and not necessary.  Go to the Gap.  They have tanks on sale for $4.99.

Now are not exempt from these words of wisdom I am sharing.  Oh no...let me just put it to you one wants to see your hairy ass and jelly belly with no shirt on bouncing up and down St. Clair. Put a shirt on. Just because you are a male, doesn't mean you don't have boobs.

(As a side not, if you are male, in good shape, tanned, and attractive, by all means, please walk up and down St. Clair with no shirt on)

It's hot.

I am on this diet where I am not supposed to eat anything...well...good.   Of course, I am craving ice cream today. I found a good alternative though, I have some yogurt that I put in the freezer...I am eating it is cool, tasty and makes me feel like I am eating ice cream. I have also been eating a lot of smoothies and slushies I have made with my Magic Bullet.

Just in case anyone was questioning which Magic Bullet I am referring too...

I am on week 2 of my new regimen. I have been counting and logging calories, jog/walking 1.5 miles a day (in addition to my 5 dog walks per day), doing arm exercises with free weights and working on the abs. I lost 4 pounds last week...and gained 2 this week....I am hoping week 3 will yield better results.

If there are any good dream interpreters in the audience tonight, I have been dreaming about Georgia a lot...I don't know why. Atlanta, especially.  I am having flashbacks of the times I have been there...just triggered randomly.  Last night I had a dream I was at Six Flags Over Georgia with my friend Broz/Nicole Cannato. We were riding the rides and one was like a Ferris wheel type ride.  Like one of those two person umbrella type rides.  It was going fast, I was in the car alone and it broke away.  I went soaring through the air. I remember being frightened, but then at ease and just watching my legs as they passed through the air. I landed safely and that is all I remember.

Drum roll please......Thank You of the Day....goes out to my new Aunt Nancy! We just met this week and I had a fantastic time at our girls day at Crocker Park. Thank you for spending the time with me, good conversation, fantastic shopping, amazing food and tasty drinks.

Last, but not least...Quote of the Day..."Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does."

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Day in Review - Catching Up with Life and Housekeeping

Hello to you, my favorite reader...I have missed you. It's been awhile since I have posted anything. I have a lot to write about, a lot to say, but just don't know how to say it or how to organize my thoughts.

Do you ever have those days or weeks where it feels your mind is just full of randomness and it makes so much sense to you, but you know if you release that randomness to the world you will either be committed or beat up?

That's where I am about now.  Lets just talk about some basics for now...

Do you remember when Margarita, my parent's dog, pooped on my shoe?  She has made it up to me and bought me some new tennis shoes. I am very excited and they will certainly come in handy for my new workout routine, that I incidentally began today. I promised my dad I would publicly share this information, so there....I did it. Maggie bought me some new shoes....she is the perfect chihuahua again (note sarcasm)

I went my cousin's wedding this younger cousin...I had no date...

I shared a hotel room with my parents....and shared a bed with Tia and Margarita, my canine sisters.  Maggie snored in my face all night...not quite what I was counting on with this wedding....

The wedding was beautiful, there was a gorgeous bride, a handsome groom and parties throughout the night. I found I can put down some rum and cokes without consequence from getting roofied. Good to know, right?

Since the 4th of July, I have essentially been on some kind of vacation, so I have felt totally out of the loop with not only my life, but with what is going on in the world. I just, for the first time today, actually watched the news again and gave it my full attention. It was nice to do for a news lover like myself.

It is strange not to be in touch with the world for me.  Sure, I was able to look at my Twitter feed and check up online, but it definitely isn't the same as watching it on TV like I have done since junior high.  True story...I used to set my alarm for 5 am so I could watch the local news followed by the Today Show at 13 years old. Probably not a normal thing to do at 13, but I have never really totally conformed to what I am "supposed" to be, either.

This whole news thing has a point in this blog is leading to this...."Auto Tune the News"...I seem to have been living under a rock when it comes to "Auto Tune the News" but I saw it late last week and almost peed myself watching these videos.  I will be truthful, some of you may not like them.  Basically these videos take real news stories and real news anchors like Katie Couric and auto tune them into a hilarious montage. They also use footage from C-SPAN and the UN...This one is my favorite -

I also cracked up at the one called "Pure Poppycock" if you are interested.

In other news, something that didn't make me pee myself was Rachael Owens' new album.  I picked it up last week and love it!  I am working on an amazing review right now for it. These songs were an awesome addition to my iPod for my road trip to the wedding this weekend. The album has soul, which I love. You can feel the emotion in the songs. If a song doesn't touch your soul, it isn't worth listening to in my opinion. Check it out on iTunes or CDBaby - follow this link!  Alright - Rachael Owens

I have actually been working behind the scenes trying to make this blog better and updated more often.  You probably don't realize, but just one post, usually takes an hour or two for me to write. I have opened up to some guest bloggers and we may see one of them shortly. Additionally I am working on some new features and will test them to see if I can get any audience interaction, such as a "Question of the Day".

People seem to enjoy my Quote of the Day, so I will probably keep that up. I also will probably do some kind of "Thank You" of the day on the blog...appreciation and gratitude should be a part of all of our lives. I have a huge thank you coming up in the next month or so for my 6-month anniversary of being nicotine free which will be August 1st, but I really don't know how to thank someone who 1) I have never met 2) Inspired me to do one of the hardest things I have ever done and 3) possibly saved my life. (If anyone knows how to do this, please let me know! I am SO not good with this type of mushy stuff and want to do it without being annoying.) 

This, however, is not today's "Thank You of the Day". 

Today's "Thank You" goes out to incidentally another person I have never met and also has inspired me to do something I probably wouldn't have ever done before...this is a man who has literally support me via the internet, stood by my ideas, spread the word when I needed it spread and shared this blog with more people than have ever read it before...this man is the genius behind the blog The Book of Cletis.  Yes, "Thank You of the Day" goes out to you. Thank you for the inspiration, the laughs, the kind words you always give, Patrice and Stumpy, and all the wonderful things your write about on your site. You have been a pleasure to interact with, a fellow blogger to look up to and a reader who inspires me to be a better writer.

Last, but not least...that quote of the day which reminds me of my youth and my wonderful tennis coach, Abby Wightman -

"Tennis is a fickle sport. No matter how good you are at it, a wall will always be better."