Thursday, October 20, 2011

Day in Review - The End of the World, Take 2 and Giving Up on Love Part 755

The End of the World is May 21st October 21st

According to Harold Camping, tomorrow will be the end of the world...part 2.  If you don't remember, Harold Camping is the wackadoo who "predicted" the end of the world on May 21st, 2011.  If you read this post It's the End of the World and I Feel Fine, you will remember that I stated I would be celebrating my birthday on October 24th and I still intend to, since the world will not be ending tomorrow.  I actually forgot it was my birthday until a few days ago, so I had no time to plan a party.  If anyone wants to go out, let me know...maybe we can get some peeps together Saturday night and have a "The World Didn't End Party/Christa's Birthday Party".  Send me a message on facebook or an e-mail here if you want to meet up or have no plans.  I will tell you where we are. 

Remember Me?
Damn you dating....I gave up on know, thinking my Prince Charming would come riding in since apparently EVERYONE has met their significant other when they weren't looking...I stopped signing into the website, focused on work and totally forgot about dating since the Pentecostal Republican from several weeks ago. Last night, I got an e-mail indicating I had a message from "Monkeyman99", so of course I was intrigued.  I wondered if it was my neighbor.....

 It was not. 

This was a guy named "Sergei" (Name changed to protect the asshole)
It started out fine.  The first message said "A writer? Awesome!!! That fascinates me. What sort of writing do you do?" and went on with niceties for several messages and he gave me his number and said he would love to text instead of writing via the site.  He seemed harmless enough, so I said fine and gave him my number.  Keep in mind, we have exchanged five e-mail messages at this point, the longest being 3 sentences long...

The first text from "Sergei" "would you mind meeting tomorrow afternoon? maybe get some coffee and talk?"
Me: I have a very full schedule tomorrow. I like to at least talk before meeting so fast.
Sergei: hmmmmmmmmmmmm, then do i get to kiss you for having to wait?
Sergei: can kiss you then? hopefully you can find 20 or thirty minutes tomorrow to meet up.
Me: I have a full day tomorrow like I said. Can't meet.  (For the record, at this point I know I will NEVER go out with this guy)
Sergei: ok. can you text tomorrow so i can get to know the woman i'll be kissing?
Sergei: if you need a break...let me know. one of those rare free days.
Me:  Lets see what happens.
Sergei: i see you are ignoring the kissing thing. I must warn you, i'm a very affectionate person.
Me: I like to get to know someone before randomly kissing
Sergei: fair enough....but, if i like you in person, is it ok to do it?
Me: As I said, I like to get to know someone before kissing
Sergei: I'm definitely gonna hug you, that's a given. , if i have the courage to kiss you, you be cool with it?
Me: Hugging is fine on a first the end.
Sergei: And kissing would be ok? I hope you can make the time. I know we're gonna be really good friends. I can feel it. Will You text me tomorrow?
Me: If I have time, maybe
Sergei: by the way, you like back massages? very relaxing you know.
Sergei: ok. would you like a massage tomorrow? i love to do them.
Me: Nope. I think you are probably pushing a little too much for me to be honest. I think I will pass.
Sergei:  Fine. I will piss off then.
Me: I just prefer to let things happen naturally.
Sergei: ok. but i'm probably gonna kiss you
Me: I am not meeting you tomorrow.  I am going to bed.
Sergei: sweet dreams. imagine me giving you a nice little kiss on the forehead goodnight.

Sigh.....lets move on to this afternoon.....for the record, I did NOT text him

Sergei: I need a hug
Me: Sorry to hear that. (I know, I shouldn't have even responded)
Sergei: Would it be possible for me to call you tonight?
Me: No. I am just not interested. I am very busy today as I have told you several times last night. After texting last night I just don't think it will work between us.
Sergei: No wonder you are single. You need a psychiatrist you crazy f*** (he wrote the word, I will censor it since I know Sarah and Todd will be reading this)
Me: Wow.  Forget my number please
Sergei: Youre a f****** moron
Me: Thank you for giving me another chapter in my book and an excellent blog post.  You will be famous.
Sergei: Bitch, i'll be competing in london olympics so i will be famous you stupid f****** loser c***
Me: I will be sure to mention that in my blog post
Sergei: Oh no a c*** is gonna post about me in a blog nobody reads. Go f*** yourself you stupid bitch who cant get a man
Me: Stop texting me. Final warning

To be honest, I don't know what I was possibly warning about at that point...I was kind of into watching Wolf Blitzer and finishing up an article I was working on. I think Wolf actually said the word "warning" and I thought it fit in my situation. 

THIS IS WHAT SINGLE WOMEN DEAL WITH PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!  It is REALITY.  The sad thing is, as funny as it is and as stupid as HE is, it still affects you, no matter how hard you try to not let it. That is reality as well.

It is times like these I want to just move to a deserted island with my little dog. Hopefully a warm one as I am already freezing here in Cleveland and it is only October 20th.

Once again, giving up on love.  I had a dream that I got married the other night and I was happy, but it was a crazy ass wedding, with a crazy cast of characters to be sure. 

My final thought of the day, like Jerry Springer does is this:  I am already looking forward to "The Airing of Grievances" for Festivus and have already thought about my annual letter to 2011.  Stay tuned, my friends. 

Monday, October 10, 2011

Day in Review - For Jeannette

I has been a really long time.  Too long.  I had my reasons for staying away. Though writing is like therapy to me, sometimes things cannot be shared that I want to be shared and sometimes it is too hard to have a blank page and not get on my soap box and give you every reason in the world why I am right and why I have been treated badly. I have no regrets on anything I have done.  In my time away I stumbled upon a song.  I am not a fan of country music, but I think the Dixie Chicks say it best in their song and video "I'm Not Ready to Make Nice".  When I found it a few weeks ago it was like I wrote it myself.  Some of you reading this will know what I am talking about, some will not.  It doesn't matter, really.  I won't talk about it because no one will really be on my side and no one will stand up for my side.  It's OK.  Really, I know what you have to lose because I lost it...but I am ok with that after this weekend.  As the song goes, I made my bed and I sleep like a baby...I'm not discussing it any longer.

Lets talk about Jeannette.  As you can see, this post is dedicated to her.  Jeannette is a loyal reader of this blog and has sent me several reminders to update this space.  Jeannette...this ones for you...

As I left off in my last post, I had a mystery to solve.  There was a possible meth lab with a rabid monkey across the hall from me and it's rancid scent was making its way to my apartment. Chloe and I were getting contact meth mouth and finally I made the call to my landlord.  Actually she called me to find out if I wanted to change my parking spot, but I took it as an opportunity.  As I explained it to you, I explained it to her. (I did leave the part out about the monkey and the meth lab, but fully described the smell.)  After a short conversation, I felt that she had explained everything.  I felt guilty actually.  I felt sad. I hugged my dog. This is what I was told...

Neil lives across the hall (Remember, this is the same guy who banged the garage door on the top of my car several times) Neil had a cat but no monkey. According to my landlord, Neil's cat was 21 years old. This cat was so old that she said it had some kind of illness that was causing it to literally begin decomposing slowly from within and all of these chemicals were leaking into the carpet. The cat was hanging between life and death.  My landlord convinced Neil that it was time for this cat to be put to sleep peacefully and she went with him to do it.  She thought the smell was probably the cleaning products he was using which she told him to stop using because this industrial grade cleanser had been actually eating through the carpeting.

As I said, this is a sad story...but I ask it true?  I am telling you, I thought this was solved.  I was saddened for a person I don't like and a cat I had never met...but I think the story is bunk.

I am certainly not accusing my landlord of lying, I think it was convenient for Neil to blame the smell of his meth lab on cleaning his carpeting.  Now that the cat is gone (I believe that part because I haven't heard it) I still smell the nasty smell, I still hear random people coming in and out of his apartment and he still sprays his little air freshener outside in the hallway.  I have also started Febreezing when I smell it, so it isn't as nasty out there anymore but there is always a bit of "Ode de Methlab" lingering in the air.

So Jeannette...I told you this was a sad story, but I don't think it is totally true.  Only time will tell I think.  It has gotten better, I will admit, but I think because I am fighting Glade Air Effects with Febreeze.

Before I close up, because I have to work on a side job (a book about marriage, HA HA HA), I have to mention the last guy I dated....and if you are wondering if I spent my hiatus with a wonderful man, I didn't...I spent it with a Pentacostal Republican who played Dungeon's and Dragons and doesn't drink.
Luckily I did not have to purchase this....

 Long story short, I didn't know he was Pentacostal or a Republican when I agreed to go out with him and though I maybe could have possibly looked past the Dungeon's and Dragons part (wishful thinking because I probably couldn't), he just didn't fit well with me, someone who believes in God but not organized religion, who has broken most of the 10 Commandments, obviously quite Liberal and if I don't have a glass of wine every few days or so I begin to go a little crazy.

Finally, my "Thank You of the Day" - this goes out to Laurel (and Pippa), Devon and Brendan (even though he made fun of me for much of the time) for hanging out with me this weekend and sticking with me.