Day in Review - For Jeannette

I know...it has been a really long time.  Too long.  I had my reasons for staying away. Though writing is like therapy to me, sometimes things cannot be shared that I want to be shared and sometimes it is too hard to have a blank page and not get on my soap box and give you every reason in the world why I am right and why I have been treated badly. I have no regrets on anything I have done.  In my time away I stumbled upon a song.  I am not a fan of country music, but I think the Dixie Chicks say it best in their song and video "I'm Not Ready to Make Nice".  When I found it a few weeks ago it was like I wrote it myself.  Some of you reading this will know what I am talking about, some will not.  It doesn't matter, really.  I won't talk about it because no one will really be on my side and no one will stand up for my side.  It's OK.  Really, I know what you have to lose because I lost it...but I am ok with that after this weekend.  As the song goes, I made my bed and I sleep like a baby...I'm not discussing it any longer.




Lets talk about Jeannette.  As you can see, this post is dedicated to her.  Jeannette is a loyal reader of this blog and has sent me several reminders to update this space.  Jeannette...this ones for you...

As I left off in my last post, I had a mystery to solve.  There was a possible meth lab with a rabid monkey across the hall from me and it's rancid scent was making its way to my apartment. Chloe and I were getting contact meth mouth and finally I made the call to my landlord.  Actually she called me to find out if I wanted to change my parking spot, but I took it as an opportunity.  As I explained it to you, I explained it to her. (I did leave the part out about the monkey and the meth lab, but fully described the smell.)  After a short conversation, I felt that she had explained everything.  I felt guilty actually.  I felt sad. I hugged my dog. This is what I was told...

Neil lives across the hall (Remember, this is the same guy who banged the garage door on the top of my car several times) Neil had a cat but no monkey. According to my landlord, Neil's cat was 21 years old. This cat was so old that she said it had some kind of illness that was causing it to literally begin decomposing slowly from within and all of these chemicals were leaking into the carpet. The cat was hanging between life and death.  My landlord convinced Neil that it was time for this cat to be put to sleep peacefully and she went with him to do it.  She thought the smell was probably the cleaning products he was using which she told him to stop using because this industrial grade cleanser had been actually eating through the carpeting.

As I said, this is a sad story...but I ask you...is it true?  I am telling you, I thought this was solved.  I was saddened for a person I don't like and a cat I had never met...but I think the story is bunk.

I am certainly not accusing my landlord of lying, I think it was convenient for Neil to blame the smell of his meth lab on cleaning his carpeting.  Now that the cat is gone (I believe that part because I haven't heard it) I still smell the nasty smell, I still hear random people coming in and out of his apartment and he still sprays his little air freshener outside in the hallway.  I have also started Febreezing when I smell it, so it isn't as nasty out there anymore but there is always a bit of "Ode de Methlab" lingering in the air.

So Jeannette...I told you this was a sad story, but I don't think it is totally true.  Only time will tell I think.  It has gotten better, I will admit, but I think because I am fighting Glade Air Effects with Febreeze.

Before I close up, because I have to work on a side job (a book about marriage, HA HA HA), I have to mention the last guy I dated....and if you are wondering if I spent my hiatus with a wonderful man, I didn't...I spent it with a Pentacostal Republican who played Dungeon's and Dragons and doesn't drink.

Luckily I did not have to purchase this....

 Long story short, I didn't know he was Pentacostal or a Republican when I agreed to go out with him and though I maybe could have possibly looked past the Dungeon's and Dragons part (wishful thinking because I probably couldn't), he just didn't fit well with me, someone who believes in God but not organized religion, who has broken most of the 10 Commandments, obviously quite Liberal and if I don't have a glass of wine every few days or so I begin to go a little crazy.

Finally, my "Thank You of the Day" - this goes out to Laurel (and Pippa), Devon and Brendan (even though he made fun of me for much of the time) for hanging out with me this weekend and sticking with me.

Day in Review: The Great Midge Massacre of 2011

Midges....

If you are unaware of what a midge is...please study this picture:

 

Midges are small, harmless insects that show up on the beautiful shores of Lake Erie every year for just a short amount of time. I ask you to look again at the above picture...now picture 100 of them...on my bedroom ceiling...as I lay staring up at them.  So begins The Great Midge Massacre of 2011.

(If you are a Buddhist, you may want to skip this blog post and join us next time)

I shouldn't have bugs like this in my home, especially in my bedroom, but these little buggers are attracted to lights...and due to a little opening in my window screen (that is now closed!) about 100 of them were able to sneak in and have a midge get together around the lamp on my bedside table...the only light on in the apartment. 

I didn't even notice them until I got into the bedroom and laid down. As I stared up at ceiling and corner of the room and saw the insects, I knew I would never be able to sleep with the chance they could fall from the ceiling directly into my mouth. I knew I had to do something...probably something dramatic and drastic, in order to get rid of them. I told Chloe to remain under the blanket for her own safety (she didn't listen) and I left the room.

I returned clad in my "Midge Removal Uniform". It consists of a hooded sweatshirt adequately covering my head and arms, yellow rubber dish washing gloves, and sunglasses to protect my eyes. In one hand was a roll of paper towels with tomatoes and carrots on them, in the other hand, a full spray bottle of generic Febreeze. 

I advised Chloe to return to the safety of the blankets, but she opted to retreat to the living room...it was 1 vs 100...and I was in a killing mood.

I went to work....my method was simple. Spray and squish, spray and squish. It seemed to me that the spray was killing them on its own, but it could be merely paralyzing the invaders. Regardless, the "squish" part of the "spray and squish" method definitely ended their lives as was shown by the flattened midge bodies on the paper towels between the tomatoes and carrots.

I went after them with gusto and determination, the smell of generic Febreeze filling the air and the tiny trails of midge guts staining my walls and ceiling. (Gonna have to get the Magic Eraser on that) As 10 minutes past, and only a few of the invading midges were left, I knew I had won this war. I let a few of the survivors escape through the window, adequately closed the screen tight and sighed...my melatonin was kicking in, my hands smelled like sweaty rubber and my sunglasses had become MIA during the foray. (They reappeared the next morning on the opposite side of my bedroom) I looked at Chloe, or the bump under the blanket that was Chloe as she had returned to her spot under the covers, and felt proud of myself for facing one of my fears...the fear of insects.  

God help me if/when the Canadian Soldiers arrive.  I tend not to even leave the house.

By the way....before I close this out, I want to give everyone an update on my last date...we went out twice...I had an amazing time, I really liked this guy and couldn't wait to go out again...except I never heard from him though he said over the weekend he wanted to go out again.  It seemed like he was into me...he was gentlemanly, gave me an innocent good night kiss and even took a photo of me for his caller id on his phone...fast forward this morning...

I sent him a text asking what his schedule was like and that I was still interested in seeing him.  The response was: "Hi, I don't think there is much chemistry between us, but if you want to hang out sometime, that would be cool".

*sigh*

Day in Review - Christa and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I wanted to call this post Year in Review because it seems like that's that how long I have been away! Surprise!  I am here!  I have been such a busy girl this past week or so.  What have I been up to you ask?  Well, I will reveal all by the end of this post and will also tell you about my Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day today.  Before I do, however, I want to give myself a shout-out and announce that today is my 3 week anniversary of my "Quit Smoking, 2011" campaign. I feel really good actually. I am still feeling some effects, however, but almost back to my normal self! This topic will come up again below!

So...I have been busy! I have not had a lot of time to write the blog for a few reasons, but the biggest is I have been getting more paid gigs! I have been expanding and getting more clients during the afternoon for my part time dog walking job, which is pushing back my 2nd part time job in the afternoon/evening job with ChaCha, which is getting cut to extremes because I have gotten a few paid writing gigs!   I am currently working on finishing up writing an e-book on...what else?  Quitting smoking!!!!!  It is almost done, so I thought tonight would be a great time to get a blog post out before I attempt to sleep. As much as I wish I could write blog posts all day, every day, right now I have to choose to spend my time with activities that actually pay...since the blog doesn't.

I have still been hitting the gym when I can. I was invited tonight, but just couldn't swing it with the e-book needing to get finished.  It's actually fine with me since I can barely walk at the moment from my work out yesterday!  It wasn't bad all day until this evening.  I may need an ass massage because that's what is hurting so badly...if there is anyone hot reading this and wants to volunteer, let me know and I will give you my address...

Since the weekend I have also been busy dog sitting as my parents, yes, Sarah and Todd, are on one of their tropical vacations they like to take several times a year (without their daughter, mind you...they did take me once actually, so I am not going to complain) . I am officially in charge of their chihuahua's, Margarita and Tia, until Sunday.

Tia on the left, Margarita on the right

I tend to get along better (until this week) with Tia, since Margarita and I have always had, let's say a "troubled" relationship, due to the fact she has tried to bite me roughly 158 times in her lifetime and has even succeeded two or three times in getting her little chihuahua teeth into my delicately, beautiful skin. However, I have to say, little Margarita is being a dream...compared to the hurricane that is Tia. Since Tia has been a little terror, and her parents Sarah and Todd are out of town, I considered writing up a little classified ad, but considering her breath smells, she pees on the floor like she owns the place, barks all the time and has to be hand fed, I can't really see that anyone would take her.  I have told her several times in the past few days: "Tia, you are damn lucky you are cute".

I am sure you have noticed the title of this blog post...Yes, I am Christa and most of my day was, indeed, terrible, horrible, no good and very bad. See, I woke up this morning with high hopes of a fabulous Tuesday. I would do some work, go walk my dogs, come back and do some more work, settle in and watch Glee, write a fantastic blog post, then go to bed at a decent time. (Would just like to say it is currently 11:44pm and not decent in my book) Since "the girls" have been here this week, my mornings have been a little slower than normal.  I have take Chloe outside to go potty first, then come back up and get Maggie (This is what we call Margarita) and Tia. Fat assed little Maggie can't walk down the stairs by herself, so I have to carry her. (This is why I don't take all three dogs at one time, as I would only have one hand free) Of course it is 6:30 am and Tia starts barking the whole way down the steps. We finally get downstairs "the girls" do their business and we go back up. Once we get up stairs, I must feed them. (Remember, Tia needs to be hand fed due to "medical reasons". Some may say she just has a bad attitude and won't learn to eat on her own) It takes longer than just filling a bowl with food and setting it down, as I do with Chloe.

Lets move ahead...I am about 45 minutes behind already at this point, so I start my work. I am happily working along, poured some wonderful tea, I had a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats...and at some point, checked my e-mail...Oh good!  My electric bill is here!  I open it up and have a heart attack on the spot...$108.  (The highest it has been since I have lived in this apartment was $25)  I immediately got on the phone...4 Customer Service reps later, 3 which were not fit to work in any Customer Service capacity, two untimely disconnections of my phone signal (Verizon, you are NEXT!!!), and one crying Chloe at my side (she needed to go outside), I finally got an explanation I can understand and though I am not happy about it, there is nothing I can do about it, but suck it up and pay. Whoever invented the "Actual" vs "Estimated" system for checking meters should be banned from the world.

I hang up the phone and take a deep breath...and I smell poop...of course, my first thought went to Tia who has had a history of pooping in the house, so I swung around quickly in my chair...Tia is sleeping very innocently curled up on the couch. I noticed there were some brown spots on the carpet...I followed them with my eyes...(I will try to be as "non gross" as possible) and there were just several large brown spots of nasty dog diarrhea all over my carpeting....and Chloe sitting in the corner looking extremely scared that I was about to yell at her. I had three issues with this.  1) I knew it was kind of my fault because she was crying to go out, but I couldn't take her out when I was on the phone, so I didn't yell at her. 2) There are several puppy pads spread strategically around the apartment due to Tia's refusal to pee outside like a normal dog and 3) the realization that I would be cleaning up dog diarrhea in my very near future.

I did clean the carpet...Woolite carpet cleaner followed by Oxyclean followed by Febreeze...then I had to go to work. Work was actually pretty good. No major issues or problem. I picked up a new client so I did have a little bit of "first day jitters", but in general it was fine. I came back home and walked in and the apartment smelled like poop....All the dogs were crated/gated...I prepared myself...but there was no poop anywhere.  I Febreezed again, and have continued once every few hours....

The third major thing that happened was this...my friend Laurel had given me a new lamp this weekend. I needed it, it is a large floor lamp and though I had brought it up from the car, I had yet to plug it in and decide where I was going to put it. I just had it in the middle of the floor and went to plug it in to see how much light it was going to give off...as I plugged it into the socket...every electronic device in my apartment went off...the TV, all the clocks, the light I had on...all just black. So I had to call the office of my apartment and figured I could just find out if I had to flip a switch or what...but no, the generous landlord said he would come fix it himself and for me not to worry about it!  Hurruh!  My apartment smells like poop, I have two illegal dogs in here and the living room is scattered with random dog toys, puppy pads and bones. Great.... I tried to hide the chihuahua's in my bedroom with Chloe, kicked as many toys and bones as possible in with them, Febreezed as well as I could and waited for Matthew.   Long story as short as possible, Matthew came up, flipped a switch behind my refrigerator, and left...no comment on the poop smell or the mysterious random pitched dog barks coming from the bedroom.  Phew...that was the turning point...things started to look up from there...and have continued.  And now, since it is technically a new day (12:31am) I can know when I wake up, it will still be a good one!