If you are unaware of what a midge is...please study this picture:
Midges are small, harmless insects that show up on the beautiful shores of Lake Erie every year for just a short amount of time. I ask you to look again at the above picture...now picture 100 of them...on my bedroom ceiling...as I lay staring up at them. So begins The Great Midge Massacre of 2011.
(If you are a Buddhist, you may want to skip this blog post and join us next time)
I shouldn't have bugs like this in my home, especially in my bedroom, but these little buggers are attracted to lights...and due to a little opening in my window screen (that is now closed!) about 100 of them were able to sneak in and have a midge get together around the lamp on my bedside table...the only light on in the apartment.
I didn't even notice them until I got into the bedroom and laid down. As I stared up at ceiling and corner of the room and saw the insects, I knew I would never be able to sleep with the chance they could fall from the ceiling directly into my mouth. I knew I had to do something...probably something dramatic and drastic, in order to get rid of them. I told Chloe to remain under the blanket for her own safety (she didn't listen) and I left the room.
I returned clad in my "Midge Removal Uniform". It consists of a hooded sweatshirt adequately covering my head and arms, yellow rubber dish washing gloves, and sunglasses to protect my eyes. In one hand was a roll of paper towels with tomatoes and carrots on them, in the other hand, a full spray bottle of generic Febreeze.
I advised Chloe to return to the safety of the blankets, but she opted to retreat to the living room...it was 1 vs 100...and I was in a killing mood.
I went to work....my method was simple. Spray and squish, spray and squish. It seemed to me that the spray was killing them on its own, but it could be merely paralyzing the invaders. Regardless, the "squish" part of the "spray and squish" method definitely ended their lives as was shown by the flattened midge bodies on the paper towels between the tomatoes and carrots.
I went after them with gusto and determination, the smell of generic Febreeze filling the air and the tiny trails of midge guts staining my walls and ceiling. (Gonna have to get the Magic Eraser on that) As 10 minutes past, and only a few of the invading midges were left, I knew I had won this war. I let a few of the survivors escape through the window, adequately closed the screen tight and sighed...my melatonin was kicking in, my hands smelled like sweaty rubber and my sunglasses had become MIA during the foray. (They reappeared the next morning on the opposite side of my bedroom) I looked at Chloe, or the bump under the blanket that was Chloe as she had returned to her spot under the covers, and felt proud of myself for facing one of my fears...the fear of insects.
God help me if/when the Canadian Soldiers arrive. I tend not to even leave the house.
By the way....before I close this out, I want to give everyone an update on my last date...we went out twice...I had an amazing time, I really liked this guy and couldn't wait to go out again...except I never heard from him though he said over the weekend he wanted to go out again. It seemed like he was into me...he was gentlemanly, gave me an innocent good night kiss and even took a photo of me for his caller id on his phone...fast forward this morning...
I sent him a text asking what his schedule was like and that I was still interested in seeing him. The response was: "Hi, I don't think there is much chemistry between us, but if you want to hang out sometime, that would be cool".