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| The End of the World is |
According to Harold Camping, tomorrow will be the end of the world...part 2. If you don't remember, Harold Camping is the wackadoo who "predicted" the end of the world on May 21st, 2011. If you read this post It's the End of the World and I Feel Fine, you will remember that I stated I would be celebrating my birthday on October 24th and I still intend to, since the world will not be ending tomorrow. I actually forgot it was my birthday until a few days ago, so I had no time to plan a party. If anyone wants to go out, let me know...maybe we can get some peeps together Saturday night and have a "The World Didn't End Party/Christa's Birthday Party". Send me a message on facebook or an e-mail here if you want to meet up or have no plans. I will tell you where we are.
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| Remember Me? |
It was not.
This was a guy named "Sergei" (Name changed to protect the asshole)
It started out fine. The first message said "A writer? Awesome!!! That fascinates me. What sort of writing do you do?" and went on with niceties for several messages and he gave me his number and said he would love to text instead of writing via the site. He seemed harmless enough, so I said fine and gave him my number. Keep in mind, we have exchanged five e-mail messages at this point, the longest being 3 sentences long...
The first text from "Sergei" "would you mind meeting tomorrow afternoon? maybe get some coffee and talk?"
Me: I have a very full schedule tomorrow. I like to at least talk before meeting so fast.
Sergei: hmmmmmmmmmmmm, then do i get to kiss you for having to wait?
Sergei: can kiss you then? hopefully you can find 20 or thirty minutes tomorrow to meet up.
Me: I have a full day tomorrow like I said. Can't meet. (For the record, at this point I know I will NEVER go out with this guy)
Sergei: ok. can you text tomorrow so i can get to know the woman i'll be kissing?
Sergei: if you need a break...let me know. one of those rare free days.
Me: Lets see what happens.
Sergei: i see you are ignoring the kissing thing. I must warn you, i'm a very affectionate person.
Me: I like to get to know someone before randomly kissing
Sergei: fair enough....but, if i like you in person, is it ok to do it?
Me: As I said, I like to get to know someone before kissing
Sergei: I'm definitely gonna hug you, that's a given. , if i have the courage to kiss you, you be cool with it?
Me: Hugging is fine on a first date...at the end.
Sergei: And kissing would be ok? I hope you can make the time. I know we're gonna be really good friends. I can feel it. Will You text me tomorrow?
Me: If I have time, maybe
Sergei: by the way, you like back massages? very relaxing you know.
Sergei: ok. would you like a massage tomorrow? i love to do them.
Me: Nope. I think you are probably pushing a little too much for me to be honest. I think I will pass.
Sergei: Fine. I will piss off then.
Me: I just prefer to let things happen naturally.
Sergei: ok. but i'm probably gonna kiss you
Me: I am not meeting you tomorrow. I am going to bed.
Sergei: sweet dreams. imagine me giving you a nice little kiss on the forehead goodnight.
Sigh.....lets move on to this afternoon.....for the record, I did NOT text him
Sergei: I need a hug
Me: Sorry to hear that. (I know, I shouldn't have even responded)
Sergei: Would it be possible for me to call you tonight?
Me: No. I am just not interested. I am very busy today as I have told you several times last night. After texting last night I just don't think it will work between us.
Sergei: No wonder you are single. You need a psychiatrist you crazy f*** (he wrote the word, I will censor it since I know Sarah and Todd will be reading this)
Me: Wow. Forget my number please
Sergei: Youre a f****** moron
Me: Thank you for giving me another chapter in my book and an excellent blog post. You will be famous.
Sergei: Bitch, i'll be competing in london olympics so i will be famous you stupid f****** loser c***
Me: I will be sure to mention that in my blog post
Sergei: Oh no a c*** is gonna post about me in a blog nobody reads. Go f*** yourself you stupid bitch who cant get a man
Me: Stop texting me. Final warning
To be honest, I don't know what I was possibly warning about at that point...I was kind of into watching Wolf Blitzer and finishing up an article I was working on. I think Wolf actually said the word "warning" and I thought it fit in my situation.
THIS IS WHAT SINGLE WOMEN DEAL WITH PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! It is REALITY. The sad thing is, as funny as it is and as stupid as HE is, it still affects you, no matter how hard you try to not let it. That is reality as well.
It is times like these I want to just move to a deserted island with my little dog. Hopefully a warm one as I am already freezing here in Cleveland and it is only October 20th.
Once again, giving up on love. I had a dream that I got married the other night and I was happy, but it was a crazy ass wedding, with a crazy cast of characters to be sure.
My final thought of the day, like Jerry Springer does is this: I am already looking forward to "The Airing of Grievances" for Festivus and have already thought about my annual letter to 2011. Stay tuned, my friends.
5 comments:
GOOD GOD WOMAN....get your number changed NOW.
serial killer.
You should (at least) post his email or real name so your readers can bother him. He's not worried about a blog post that nobody reads..haha. Too bad you can't publish the actual texts from your phone (like they do with the iphone autocorrect screens).
Christa, I am divorcing my wife and marrying you asap. Note: You don't even have to kiss me. Hee Hee Hee
Cletis...you always know how to make a girl feel great.
I am a guy who is constantly embarrased at what short-fused pigs guys turn out to be. That kissing thing can sure mess relationshihps up, can't it...
"Connie" was a marketing executive in an outlying county, I was a 36-year-old middle-manager who had placed a personals classified ad in the paper (people were just starting to do that then). We met one Saturday afternoon at Joseph-Beth bookstore in Lexington, and had a nice first "date". No structure. We went to a car lot because she said she wanted to look for a car while she was in the city. During the car lot visit, she impulsively slipped her arm in mine and without a word exchanged beforehand, we pretended we were married to fool the sales clerk. Giggles ensued afterward.
All was going great. As I put her in her car for her drive back home, I impulsively leaned in through the driver's window and kissed her lightly on the lips -- not a big ol' passionate slurpee, no probing tongue (eew), no hug, no full-body contact, no stroking or osqueezing. Just a little first-date peck that I thought appropriately summed up the fun we had had and promised my further interest.
I went home and immediately wrote her a nice long snail-mail letter (1989 was a few years before e-mails and chatting and texting) wistfully hoping that our date might ahve been the start of a future together. I mailed it while floating on that pink cloud familiar to all the newly in love.
Monday, as she got my letter, I got one from her too. Oh joy, I thought, she liked our date enough to immediately write me too. But no, her letter instead invited me to F.O.D.D.(Eff Off and Drop Dead). It was all over because of the kiss. I had outraged her with such a brazen assault. I crashed, quickly and completely.
I always hoped that sometime down the path I would see or hear from her again, just to show that I did survive, barely. Maybe we could even have a chuckle about it. But of course, I never saw her again. It's now been 22 years and a wife, two children and a suburban life later, and of course I wouldn't recognize her.
Oh well ... She was nice and smart. We would have been a good match. There would have been lots more kisses. But, whatever.
The best to her, and to you for letting me spill this bunch of soppy regrets -- I'll get something and mop it up.
Also thanks for sharing your ordeal about the monster Sergei. I apologize on behalf of sensitive guys everywhere, and wish you the best. Don't give up the quest.
It's awful how just simply looking for love can make us hurt each other so badly, isn't it.
You're on my favorites, I'll keep reading.
Zing...thank you so much for your comments. I actually think you were NOT wrong giving "Connie" a peck. She had given you the moves! Everything certainly happens for a reason though and obviously we know the reason "Connie" didn't stick around. Thank you SO much for reading!
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