Special Edition....The Excerpts

Breaking News Peeps!

I was able to get my hands on some of the excerpts of Bristol Palin's upcoming "memoir". (Yes, memoir is in quotes for a reason)

These snippets are the raw writings of Ms. Palin, unedited and according to the source, did not make it into the final copy, but worth a read...

(I could have edited the grammar and spelling, but I feel it is important for all to see the true form of this "memoir")

“I remember the first time I noticed how hot Levi was. He was walking through the Wasilla High School cafeteria holding a tray of food. It was mooseburger day.  I had known him for awhile, but on this day, I saw him in a different light. I started writing “Mrs. Bristol Johnston” on my notebooks.  I liked that my initials would be BJ.”

“That group of girls that was always so mean to me were just jealous that their mom’s weren’t the Governor of our state. They would call me and Willow the “Pugnacious Palins”. They were in there AP English class when I had Pre-Algebra. I don’t know what pugnacious means, but I will ask my mom when she gets back from the elk hunt.”

“I am pregnant. I don’t know how to tell my mom and dad. Track got a girl pregnant and they made him join the army. I don’t want to join the army. Levi has been supportive. He is already working on plans for building a cabin. We live in Alaska so we can hunt and gather and live off the land with our baby. We will get married. I will finally be Bristol Johnston and people can call me BJ. I will have to think of a name that starts with “T” if it’s a boy. We have a tradition in our family that all males must have “T” names. Oh no...I just realized my mom and I are pregnant at the same time. I hope we don’t pick the same “T” name.”

“So Sarah and Todd were NOT happy with my announcement of being knocked up. You have never heard a worst screeching sound than Sarah Palin when she gets angry.  Luckily Levi was with me and held my hand. We will be together forever, so I don’t know what they are worried about. Sure, we are a little young, but I think her saying we would lose the Presidential campaign for her and John McCain is a little far-fetched. “

“I just found out I would be on Dancing With the Stars! I am so proud of myself!  I am going to show the world that a high school dropout/single mother/Tea Party Spawn can make something of themselves.  Some people say I don’t matter...but they aren’t on Dancing With the Stars so they can kiss my ass. I am a star, I am famous.  They are still living in Wasilla in their trailor.”