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So....
I found some panties on the sidewalk today. There I was...walking down West 9th in Cleveland and I see something pink in the middle of the sidewalk. I move in to investigate....
Yes. They were panties. On the sidewalk. At noon. Pink with a blue elastic band and a little bow. I have a similar pair myself....
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| Pink Panties - a drink...unfortunately not the pink panties I found today... |
At this point I wondered if I should move them or if it was OK to leave these panties in the middle of the sidewalk. Surely I was not the first person to see them, right? I thought about picking them up...(only because I am one of those trash picker-uppers who like to see the city look clean!)
Seriously, what was I thinking! Who knows what kind of nasty gonorrhea I could get from discarded, nasty, dirty underwear. I could have gotten the Herps!
So I left them...if anyone is missing a pair of pink panties with a blue elastic band and a little bow, they are right near West 9th and Lakeside. My aunt said they may be hers, but I think she was joking...at least I hope she was....
Moving on....
I just need to get this out of my system right now because I am still chuckling over it and I know I won't stop until I write this down. Was watching CNN today, as I usually do in the afternoon (I say watching, but it was really on in the background on the TV behind me) and I hear "3D Porn"...of course, I have to look and see what the deal is. Long story short (this isn't the funny part yet) it's pretty much exactly what it sounds like...available in Europe, certain times only, blah, blah, blah. The hilarious part about this was while anchor Brooke Baldwin is hiding her face behind a piece of paper blushing, CNN Business Correspondent Alison Kosik says with a smile, "It's 3D so it makes you feel like you are in on the action". This was, perhaps the funniest few seconds of news I have seen in a long time. It has been seriously 20 minutes and I am still laughing about it. I know, I know....Tunisia, Stock Market, Westboro Baptist (Yes, God is still watching you, idiots), all this seriousness in the news...but that moment of utter hilarity totally made my day. Thank you Alison Kosik. I need that.
I know...none of you probably see the humor in that story...you may have to be partially insane as I am. I LOVE the news! I generally DO NOT like news anchors...
I went off on some people today about news anchors though...I will talk about that a bit later...though not in this post. I will have to get all fired up again. There are a few I like and trust...Katie Couric, Anderson Cooper, Wolf Blitzer, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow (I like them, you can like whoever you want, but I better not see the names "Gl*nn B*ck", "Sh*p*rd Sm*th" or "B*ll O'R**lly" in my comments section or in any "nastygrams" to me. If you want to put that trash online, do it on your own blog.)
Unless they are one of my "faves", I usually don't take them extremely seriously. I think before long there will be a few more added to the list. I like Brooke Baldwin...not yet in love with her, but she's definitely working on me...she seems smart from what I can tell. I know the minor tricks of the trade from A) watching so much news B) taking several classes in news production and C) because I am fairly smart (Believe it!) I think she is generally smart. Smart is important to me when it comes to news. Smart is how you get on my list of "faves".....
(Edit...since publication, Brooke Baldwin has informed me that she loves The Decemberists, I can move "not yet in love" up to "LOVE!!!!!")
WHICH IS WHY I GOT SO PISSED OFF TODAY AND NEARLY LOST MY HEAD!!!!!!!!! (Remember this post and these comments...because I am going to come back to them at some point in the near future.)
In closing, I have two confessions...this is, after all called "Confessions of a Girl", right? My first one is....I am back on the M&M's....I passed them today and couldn't help myself. I will try harder next time....I did do a little 30 minute work out, so I don't feel totally 100% guilty.
My 2nd confession is semi related and was likely the cause of buying the M&M's. As I was going into my first stop of the day today...I saw a cigarette...a brand new, just out of the pack cigarette....sitting on the little outside ash tray. I wanted it. I wanted to pick it up. I wanted to take it with me. I had a rough, stressful morning...I started to reach for it....
Then I thought....CHRISTA! What the HELL are you doing taking a random CIGARETTE from a NASTY ashtray that you don't even know where it's been????
I walked away...the addict in me was suppressed. Soon after I saw the pink panties and this post will go full circle.
Come to think of it though, I could have gotten the Herps from that cigarette too! Weird!
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