Day in Review - Barking and Shrieking

First..before I even start this post, I want to thank each and every person who is reading this.  Last week I hit 10,000 views on this blog.  That is HUGE to me and it makes me feel like it is worth writing (despite what past men have said).  Thank you so, so much.  In fact, as of the writing of this post, we are up to 11,000 plus views.  This is amazing and awesome. Thank You!!!!!!!

Now on to our regularly scheduled blog post.... 

This is the third week in the a row I have released an audible shriek during the final scene of "Glee".   (Don't judge me.) The shriek reminded me of something that has been going on in my apartment building. No, it is not the meth lab/garage door neighbor across the hall, this little problem is one that is directly below me.

Every weekday...anytime between 6:57am and 7:03am...I hear barking.  This is no ordinary barking.  This is the most annoying barking/howling combination that has ever met my ears. Luckily I wake up early or I would be even more pissed off than I currently am. The problem is, I tend to start work at 7am and it is very hard to write when you hear bark, bark, bark....bark, bark, bark....bark, bark, bark...bark, bark, bark....bark, bark, bark...bark, bark, bark...are you annoyed yet?  No?  bark, bark, bark...bark, bark, bark...bark, bark, bark...yes...it is a pattern...three barks and a pause.  This makes it even more annoying to me for some reason.  I don't like order or neatness so much. I like variety and three barks with a five second pause followed by three barks with a five second pause makes me insane. This has been going on for a few weeks now.  I actually suspect it has been going on throughout the summer, but since my air conditioning was on, I didn't hear it.


I did some research.  I can't help it, I am a researcher at heart.  There is actually a list of steps you are supposed to take when a dog is annoying and also several rules.  This first rule of dealing with a dog that barks uncontrollably is to remain anonymous.  There are (very surprisingly) several murders that have been committed by dog owners. These dog owners have murdered people who diss their dogs. Yes...MURDERED, which is why you are supposed to remain anonymous.  I knew the first rule was to remain anonymous and the first step was to write a simple, anonymous note. This note should be three to four sentences and politely slipped in their mailbox or under the door.

I wrote said note...it said "Your dog barks from 7am to 6pm. Please do something about the barking. It is not safe for the dog and it is very distracting."  I know...it is certainly not poetic, but this was the guidance I got from several websites and templates.  (You would be surprised by the vast amount of people who have dealt with this.  I was simply following the rules of "dog bark etiquette")  For almost two weeks, there was silence....

This past weekend it all changed.  Starting at 10am on Saturday til about 7pm all I heard was barking.  I know it was the weekend, but I still shouldn't have to deal with this noise! Sunday was identical.  Monday, the barking began at 6:58am. Today, it began at 7:01am.  (Yes, I have been tracking)

The second step, according to several websites I saw, was to write a second note.  This one should be more in depth and again, you should remain anonymous so you don't get murdered and should be totally disconnected from the first (so it seems like more than one person is writing).  My second note was slipped under the door today.  It said - "We have noticed that your dog is barking on an daily basis. As dog lovers, we are extremely worried that your dog is experiencing stress, which is not healthy. Additionally, the barking is distracting to the neighbors and our own dogs are stressed out as well since they can hear your dog. We would ask that you take steps to stop your dog from barking. Unfortunately, if you do not control your dog, we will be forced to contact the apartment management for further advice on this matter."  (We = my across the hall neighbor.  He has been "anti-dog barking" too. Furthermore, this is not the meth lab neighbor, but the other guy across the hall)  Fingers crossed that the note works.  I will certainly keep you updated.

Breaking news....as I am writing this, I just heard a strange noise in the hall...I looked out of the peep hole and my meth lab neighbor was spraying air freshener throughout the hallway.  Seriously...he looked like a soldier walking up and down...spray, spray, spray, spray, spray, spray.  Instead of time to make the donuts....well...who knows what he makes in there.  I can vouch that it smells awful.

Not my neighbor, but it is appropriate in this case...

Sorry for that message, but I felt that it was worth mentioning especially if you are a follower of the blog.

I do have an announcement to close this post. If you follow me on Twitter or you are my Facebook friend, you may have seen a special announcement that I have a second blog.  It is nothing like this one.  The new blog is called "The Flip Side" and will be much more serious, likely much more liberal and much more spiritual and  poetic. It will certainly not be for everyone who reads "Confessions of a Girl". If you think you may like "The Flip Side", I invite you to read it as it get's updated. "Confessions of a Girl" will continue as it is...random thoughts, random events, and I daresay, making fun of men I meet online, though I have given up on love (much to my mom's chagrin) I envision "The Flip Side" to be less about me and more about things that mean something to me including poetry, people, events and spirituality. 

Day in Review - What Would Pippa Do?

I want to start this post by saying a huge "THANK YOU!" to all of the people who shared my last post with their friends. I really think it's important to pay attention when you are out and about getting funky and dancing like a rock star....or like Pippa Middleton....

I have become a mini-celebrity on the Facebook page of the establishment where the incident went down.  I made a post about watching your drinks...it was deleted about an hour later, but in the mean time I have gotten several messages asking about the situation and they made a post on their wall about sleazy guys and keeping your drinks close to you. 

I have to say...it was very strange to lose time like that.  Even up to yesterday I was a bit confused about what the date was.  Luckily my mother reminded me about Mother's Day on Sunday! I thought I still had another week.  Speaking of my mother...I will make a quick segue to the Palin family....so who has seen Bristol's face lift?  If she even tries to deny it I will dress up as a clown and walk through Public Square...well wait..we KNOW she is going to deny it, but COME ON!!!!  She looks like she used the same surgeon as Kenny Rogers did.  Jennifer Grey anyone?????

Another thing I miss when I was "not of this world" (though I can't really say where I was!) was the capture of Osama Bin Laden. I have to say, my mom was hilarious...she called me on Tuesday just to make sure I knew about it...honestly though, I had no idea it had happened until midway through my Monday morning! I was PISSSSSSSSED! Not because of it happening, of course, but because I wasn't privy to the breaking news!  For someone who is a humongous news buff, missing the biggest news story of the decade really hurt. 

Another thing I didn't get a chance to mention was my feelings on the royal wedding.  I laughed....at Beatrice's hat....I cried....at the ceremony...and I almost threw up....again, at Beatrice's hat...(they kept showing it).  I admit, I have always been a huge royal fan...I cried when Princess Diana passed away. This was a big day for me and luckily I didn't miss it.  Chloe was a little angry with me though, since I made her get up with me and made her wear a little tiara.  I thought that was a fabulous idea and was going to send the pictures to the Today Show...until I saw 500 pictures of people who had made THEIR dogs wear tiara's too....so I erased them all, sulked and watched the festivities for about 5 hours...

The final thing I need to say is about "Glee"....I know, I know, some of you don't watch it, but seriously...I don't know if I have become more  compassionate or more "feeling" since I was "out of my mind", but it seriously broke my little heart when Santana was singing to Brittany....I don't know why I love them together so much.  I am also a big Finchel fan, so I am of course seeing the potential of them getting back together....Fondue For Two was HILARIOUS!!!!!!

Ok...signing off for now...I have a few things to do before my favorite Thursday night show "True Crime with Aphrodite Jones". 

Day in Revew - I am a Gleek and Other Stories.

Dayyyyyum!  March is almost over and I have barely blogged! I have my reasons...March is a tough month for me for some reason. It seems like March is just unlucky or ill fated in my life. I have been sad, mad, glad, plaid...not plaid...that's a bad fashion statement. Really, just feeling "BLECH".  Like any typical March, in addition to just feeling less than stellar mentally, something always comes up to rub salt in the wound....This year it seems to be my car. Last week my brakes decided they were going to go...still haven't gotten them fixed.  I am on a fixed income at the moment and shopping around for a private mechanic. I have a matter of days though, so I need to get it done ASAP.

I kind of have been feeling like I just want to be a hermit too. 

In addition there was ONE day in Cleveland where it got above 60...and I have not stopped sneezing since.  It was just enough to get that pollen starting to fly.

I have been busy too, which is a positive. I have big plans.

I have things on my mind too. One of the things that keep me up at night is: "What is the correct pronunciation of Qatar?"  Seriously...everyone says it differently and everyone says they say it right.  Really, watch the news for 10 minutes and you will hear 3 different pronunciations.

Well...I have a confession...

I have replaced by nicotine addiction with an addiction to "Glee".  I am not proud of it, but I am obsessed. I have illegally watched the entire first season online and now working on the 2nd season.  I am officially a "Gleek".

I have a major crush on Puck

I sometimes have to stop myself from singing and dancing about things that happen to me. Like when my brakes started squeaking I wanted to do a dance in the garage around piles of tires wearing coveralls singing "Piece of Shit Car" by Adam Sandler.

When I am walking my dogs during the day I usually want to sing  "Walk This Way" while jumping up on the concrete parking lot fence downtown...all while yelling/singing in my best Steven Tyler voice.

If I write a message to someone on my dating site and they never write back, I go in the bathroom, flip my head over to make my hair stand up, hair spray it, put on my leather jacket and I sing "Heartbreaker" by Pat Benatar while pointing at my laptop.

At night, when I am alone, drinking wine, I put on a long ball gown, smear my mascara and lipstick and sing "All By Myself" in my hairbrush finishing with a dramatic Celine Dion arm raise/fist pump.

Moving on....I may be confessing too much...

Before I close this post out, I would just like to give you all some advice:  If you ever are asked about the word "labiaplasty" by presumably a 13 year old boy on ChaCha ...what ever you do...DON'T LOOK IT UP!  If you want to know what it is, I will spare you the look up and tell you gently...it is a surgical procedure to change the size of a certain part of female anatomy.

All I will say is in general you think the first Google search result is fairly safe to view...unfortunately at times it isn't...and you open the page innocently....and you are given a pictorial view of surgical results...before and after shots.....of something I did not want to see nor ever see again for the rest of my existence on this good Earth. I may be permanently scarred from those 15 seconds.

If I wanted to be a gynecologist, I would have been...