Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Day in Review - Barking and Shrieking

First..before I even start this post, I want to thank each and every person who is reading this.  Last week I hit 10,000 views on this blog.  That is HUGE to me and it makes me feel like it is worth writing (despite what past men have said).  Thank you so, so much.  In fact, as of the writing of this post, we are up to 11,000 plus views.  This is amazing and awesome. Thank You!!!!!!!

Now on to our regularly scheduled blog post.... 

This is the third week in the a row I have released an audible shriek during the final scene of "Glee".   (Don't judge me.) The shriek reminded me of something that has been going on in my apartment building. No, it is not the meth lab/garage door neighbor across the hall, this little problem is one that is directly below me.

Every weekday...anytime between 6:57am and 7:03am...I hear barking.  This is no ordinary barking.  This is the most annoying barking/howling combination that has ever met my ears. Luckily I wake up early or I would be even more pissed off than I currently am. The problem is, I tend to start work at 7am and it is very hard to write when you hear bark, bark, bark....bark, bark, bark....bark, bark, bark...bark, bark, bark....bark, bark, bark...bark, bark, bark...are you annoyed yet?  No?  bark, bark, bark...bark, bark, bark...bark, bark, bark...yes...it is a pattern...three barks and a pause.  This makes it even more annoying to me for some reason.  I don't like order or neatness so much. I like variety and three barks with a five second pause followed by three barks with a five second pause makes me insane. This has been going on for a few weeks now.  I actually suspect it has been going on throughout the summer, but since my air conditioning was on, I didn't hear it.


I did some research.  I can't help it, I am a researcher at heart.  There is actually a list of steps you are supposed to take when a dog is annoying and also several rules.  This first rule of dealing with a dog that barks uncontrollably is to remain anonymous.  There are (very surprisingly) several murders that have been committed by dog owners. These dog owners have murdered people who diss their dogs. Yes...MURDERED, which is why you are supposed to remain anonymous.  I knew the first rule was to remain anonymous and the first step was to write a simple, anonymous note. This note should be three to four sentences and politely slipped in their mailbox or under the door.

I wrote said note...it said "Your dog barks from 7am to 6pm. Please do something about the barking. It is not safe for the dog and it is very distracting."  I know...it is certainly not poetic, but this was the guidance I got from several websites and templates.  (You would be surprised by the vast amount of people who have dealt with this.  I was simply following the rules of "dog bark etiquette")  For almost two weeks, there was silence....

This past weekend it all changed.  Starting at 10am on Saturday til about 7pm all I heard was barking.  I know it was the weekend, but I still shouldn't have to deal with this noise! Sunday was identical.  Monday, the barking began at 6:58am. Today, it began at 7:01am.  (Yes, I have been tracking)

The second step, according to several websites I saw, was to write a second note.  This one should be more in depth and again, you should remain anonymous so you don't get murdered and should be totally disconnected from the first (so it seems like more than one person is writing).  My second note was slipped under the door today.  It said - "We have noticed that your dog is barking on an daily basis. As dog lovers, we are extremely worried that your dog is experiencing stress, which is not healthy. Additionally, the barking is distracting to the neighbors and our own dogs are stressed out as well since they can hear your dog. We would ask that you take steps to stop your dog from barking. Unfortunately, if you do not control your dog, we will be forced to contact the apartment management for further advice on this matter."  (We = my across the hall neighbor.  He has been "anti-dog barking" too. Furthermore, this is not the meth lab neighbor, but the other guy across the hall)  Fingers crossed that the note works.  I will certainly keep you updated.

Breaking news....as I am writing this, I just heard a strange noise in the hall...I looked out of the peep hole and my meth lab neighbor was spraying air freshener throughout the hallway.  Seriously...he looked like a soldier walking up and down...spray, spray, spray, spray, spray, spray.  Instead of time to make the donuts....well...who knows what he makes in there.  I can vouch that it smells awful.

Not my neighbor, but it is appropriate in this case...


Sorry for that message, but I felt that it was worth mentioning especially if you are a follower of the blog.

I do have an announcement to close this post. If you follow me on Twitter or you are my Facebook friend, you may have seen a special announcement that I have a second blog.  It is nothing like this one.  The new blog is called "The Flip Side" and will be much more serious, likely much more liberal and much more spiritual and  poetic. It will certainly not be for everyone who reads "Confessions of a Girl". If you think you may like "The Flip Side", I invite you to read it as it get's updated. "Confessions of a Girl" will continue as it is...random thoughts, random events, and I daresay, making fun of men I meet online, though I have given up on love (much to my mom's chagrin) I envision "The Flip Side" to be less about me and more about things that mean something to me including poetry, people, events and spirituality. 




3 comments:

Michael Mullady said...

ugh how annoying!! Your apartment is definitely not a dull place to live!

Confessionista said...

Michael...my life is never dull, which is a good thing! Annoying is an excellent way to describe the current situation!

Cletis said...

You could, if you were FOCUSED, create a cult with said "barker" as the central deity. Translate those "barks" into scripture and interpret according to your whims.(do not let your followers know this part) The "spraying of the hallway" could be like a cleansing ritual or something. Moses and Joseph Smith started with much less original material. Think about it and FOCUS.