Day in Review - Barking and Shrieking

First..before I even start this post, I want to thank each and every person who is reading this.  Last week I hit 10,000 views on this blog.  That is HUGE to me and it makes me feel like it is worth writing (despite what past men have said).  Thank you so, so much.  In fact, as of the writing of this post, we are up to 11,000 plus views.  This is amazing and awesome. Thank You!!!!!!!

Now on to our regularly scheduled blog post.... 

This is the third week in the a row I have released an audible shriek during the final scene of "Glee".   (Don't judge me.) The shriek reminded me of something that has been going on in my apartment building. No, it is not the meth lab/garage door neighbor across the hall, this little problem is one that is directly below me.

Every weekday...anytime between 6:57am and 7:03am...I hear barking.  This is no ordinary barking.  This is the most annoying barking/howling combination that has ever met my ears. Luckily I wake up early or I would be even more pissed off than I currently am. The problem is, I tend to start work at 7am and it is very hard to write when you hear bark, bark, bark....bark, bark, bark....bark, bark, bark...bark, bark, bark....bark, bark, bark...bark, bark, bark...are you annoyed yet?  No?  bark, bark, bark...bark, bark, bark...bark, bark, bark...yes...it is a pattern...three barks and a pause.  This makes it even more annoying to me for some reason.  I don't like order or neatness so much. I like variety and three barks with a five second pause followed by three barks with a five second pause makes me insane. This has been going on for a few weeks now.  I actually suspect it has been going on throughout the summer, but since my air conditioning was on, I didn't hear it.


I did some research.  I can't help it, I am a researcher at heart.  There is actually a list of steps you are supposed to take when a dog is annoying and also several rules.  This first rule of dealing with a dog that barks uncontrollably is to remain anonymous.  There are (very surprisingly) several murders that have been committed by dog owners. These dog owners have murdered people who diss their dogs. Yes...MURDERED, which is why you are supposed to remain anonymous.  I knew the first rule was to remain anonymous and the first step was to write a simple, anonymous note. This note should be three to four sentences and politely slipped in their mailbox or under the door.

I wrote said note...it said "Your dog barks from 7am to 6pm. Please do something about the barking. It is not safe for the dog and it is very distracting."  I know...it is certainly not poetic, but this was the guidance I got from several websites and templates.  (You would be surprised by the vast amount of people who have dealt with this.  I was simply following the rules of "dog bark etiquette")  For almost two weeks, there was silence....

This past weekend it all changed.  Starting at 10am on Saturday til about 7pm all I heard was barking.  I know it was the weekend, but I still shouldn't have to deal with this noise! Sunday was identical.  Monday, the barking began at 6:58am. Today, it began at 7:01am.  (Yes, I have been tracking)

The second step, according to several websites I saw, was to write a second note.  This one should be more in depth and again, you should remain anonymous so you don't get murdered and should be totally disconnected from the first (so it seems like more than one person is writing).  My second note was slipped under the door today.  It said - "We have noticed that your dog is barking on an daily basis. As dog lovers, we are extremely worried that your dog is experiencing stress, which is not healthy. Additionally, the barking is distracting to the neighbors and our own dogs are stressed out as well since they can hear your dog. We would ask that you take steps to stop your dog from barking. Unfortunately, if you do not control your dog, we will be forced to contact the apartment management for further advice on this matter."  (We = my across the hall neighbor.  He has been "anti-dog barking" too. Furthermore, this is not the meth lab neighbor, but the other guy across the hall)  Fingers crossed that the note works.  I will certainly keep you updated.

Breaking news....as I am writing this, I just heard a strange noise in the hall...I looked out of the peep hole and my meth lab neighbor was spraying air freshener throughout the hallway.  Seriously...he looked like a soldier walking up and down...spray, spray, spray, spray, spray, spray.  Instead of time to make the donuts....well...who knows what he makes in there.  I can vouch that it smells awful.

Not my neighbor, but it is appropriate in this case...

Sorry for that message, but I felt that it was worth mentioning especially if you are a follower of the blog.

I do have an announcement to close this post. If you follow me on Twitter or you are my Facebook friend, you may have seen a special announcement that I have a second blog.  It is nothing like this one.  The new blog is called "The Flip Side" and will be much more serious, likely much more liberal and much more spiritual and  poetic. It will certainly not be for everyone who reads "Confessions of a Girl". If you think you may like "The Flip Side", I invite you to read it as it get's updated. "Confessions of a Girl" will continue as it is...random thoughts, random events, and I daresay, making fun of men I meet online, though I have given up on love (much to my mom's chagrin) I envision "The Flip Side" to be less about me and more about things that mean something to me including poetry, people, events and spirituality. 

Quick Post - My 5-Seconds of Fame

For those of you who read this blog and haven't seen this yet, I was on the local Cleveland news (WKYC) today for 5 seconds this evening.  Here is the clip!

For some reason this morning I had a very big urge to give myself a conditioning treatment so my hair would look good.  Amazing how the universe works, isn't it?  I did my hair, make-up, and made sure I was looking really hot....and low and behold, I got interviewed by the news later in the day. (Not for finding the panties on the sidewalk, as my friend Laurel asked)

Looking good, right?  There was a little more in the beginning, but my camera had a small delay...oh well, you get the point and get to see me in a different light! Live and in the flesh. (Again...if anyone hot is reading this and wants to contact me, please send an e-mail to christa1024@hotmail.com)

(EDIT - I got the ACTUAL story from wkyc.com, so the delay is no longer present!)

Speaking of e-mails (tweets, texts, emails and Facebook messages as well), I have gotten tons of input about yesterday's post!  I guess you all like it when I go "all over the place" like a psycho! I got a lot of random questions, some nastygrams about being mean to FOX News and a great idea about a blog post topic.

In true Christa form, I haven't written anyone back yet or addressed any...but after talking to Chloe (my dog), we decided it would be fun (and funny) to answer a few of them here...so I will....but not today.  I want to give everyone an opportunity to ask or comment.  I was a little surprised by number of  people who did. (Thank You!!!) Oh, they can remain anonymous as well...as people who like to send nastygrams tend to like to be annoying...I mean anonymous. Just comment and choose "anonymous". I promise...I have no idea who you are.  You can also anonymously e-mail or tweet me (christamarie123) too.


One more random announcement -  You have GOT to check out this blog post from my friend Adam --- Do it NOW!  You will not regret it - Throwing Quarters

Day in Review - Excuse Me, Did I Say You Could Touch My Ass?

Long time, no blog! I have been a busy girl! Glad to be back though. I was on this creative kick for a few days writing some stories and working on some inspired endeavors. I had some wonderful family time this weekend as well, so all was worth it. It was wonderful to have our monthly, family "Girl's Night" at a wonderful restaurant. I wanted to give a special "Thank You" to my sister. (not sure if she reads this or not) She waited for a full 90 minutes on Friday at the restaurant so our family could get a table!  Bravo to Tricia!

Saturday was laundry day and a trip to the all you can eat Chinese buffet with my parents, Sarah and Todd. (as they are now known) I learned a new Chinese phrase from my fortune cookie as well - "Xièxiè"...it means "Thank You".  So a Xièxiè to my sister, a Xièxiè to my parents and a Xièxiè to all of you for reading this blog!

A quick shameless plug, then on with the show..did you know you can follow the blog and be notified via e-mail when I update it?  Yes! You can! If you click the "Follow" button on the top of the page, you can sign up and know when I post. You can even do it anonymously!(Just in case you don't want anyone to know you read this trashy thing)  I also want to invite you to check out another awesome blog I personally follow - The Book of Cletis. Read it and love it...like I do.

We are going to discuss personal space tonight...see, something happened to me this morning that needs to be mentioned in a public forum. I was on my way to work and stopped at the gas station to grab a bottle of water since I had neglected to bring one from home. There was a long line (only one register open), so as I was waiting, I was checking out my latest tweets on Twitter. I was engulfed in tweets when I noticed a peculiar smell...it was sort of like a mix of cigarettes/body odor/gasoline/wet dog. I turned my head to see who was behind me radiating this toxic smell. It was an older, unkempt woman with stringy, greasy hair and two teeth. I politely smiled, she smiled back (which is when I noticed the teeth) and I went on with my tweeting. It was then, when I felt something...yes...something touched my ass. I took a small step forward, thinking it was just a mistake. You know, there were a lot of people in there. Sometimes you may get in someone's personal space. I get it. I did not, however, get it the 2nd time I felt something touch my ass.  It was just a little touch...so for a 2nd time, I took a small shifting step forward. My mind raced, thinking if I should say something to this smelly woman, or let it go...it really could just be a mistake, right?  Then...it happened again...a series of taps...right on my right ass cheek. I turn around then...to face Ms. Smelly. She smiled at me with her two teeth and said "Hi!". (I was "on deck" at this point in the line, so luckily this conversation couldn't go far) I kind of looked at her, I am sure with a pained, confused expression, and she said "I just wanted to tell you that you have beautiful eyes." (Shit! Shit! Shit!  What do I do!!!) I just stared at her for a second...when I heard the best thing ever..."Can I help you?" I stepped forward, placed my water on the counter, threw my $1.02 on the counter and high tailed it out of there. As soon as I got to my car I tweeted "An old smelly lady just touched my ass several times at the gas station.".

So my question is...why in the HELL do people think they can touch you like that??!??!?  Though I may be a hot, attractive piece of....work????? (LOL!!!) That does not give a stranger permission to touch me, especially on my ass!  It is a sacred place! I certainly don't go around grabbing strangers asses! (When I am sober, at least) Do I now need to wear a sign that says "Hands off the merchandise"? She couldn't have touched my shoulder? Tapped my back if she had to say something? What about a simple "Excuse me"? I don't mind speaking to people in line. If you want to have small talk, I'm game...but unless I have known you for longer than 3 minutes, please do not touch my ass...especially if you are an old, smelly woman.


To close up tonight, I want to share this hilarious video that Brooke Baldwin shared today on Twitter.  It has had me laughing all day!

Day in Review - Speachless and Sickened....

Before I begin today's blog post, I have a few announcements to make.

1. I have finally figured out how to allow people to comment directly to the blog (Please use it!  I would love to see feedback)  You should be able to click the comment button directly below the post. You can remain nameless if you like. 

2. If you have a chance, I am still pimping this website - http://libetisocial.com/. Check it out, join the discussion.

3. Do you use Twitter?  Follow me there!  christamarie123 

Now on to our regularly scheduled blog post....


Though I am an avid CNN watcher, I have to admit I have been tuning in more the past few days. Though my mornings are generally spent with the Golden Girls and Saved By The Bell, my afternoons belong to Ali Velshi, Brooke Baldwin and Wolf Blitzer. Don't get the wrong idea...the TV is on in the background while I work, and I usually only listen to it, as opposed to watching it. If something airs I want to see, I will flip around in my chair and check it out.  Today, I did a huge turn around...as I heard Brooke Baldwin utter the words "Westboro Baptist Church".


Though I am sure most of you know who they are, this is the group that protests funerals of service members, other churches, funerals of those who have died from AIDS, funerals of gay people, football games, concerts, etc, etc.  They are, in my opinion, a group that stands for and promotes hate, negativity, hostility, poison and all that inspires odious acts. They recently showed up to protest the funeral of Elizabeth Edwards and now have plans to protest the funeral of 9-year old Christina Green, killed in the massacre in Tuscon, which is scheduled for tomorrow.The church said in a statement "God sent the shooter! "Praise God for ALL his works, and BE YE THANKFUL!."

I support Freedom of Speech...I believe it is an important part of our United States laws. HOWEVER, protesting the funeral ANYONE, including a 9-year old girl is sickening to me. The evil it must take to stand at any funeral and hold up signs that say "God Hates Fags" and "God Hates America" is beyond me, and luckily beyond 99% of the population. It is totally inappropriate, wrong and indecent. I could care less if they want to walk up and down the street promoting their grotesque and nonsensical messages, that is their right...but not at a funeral. Not for an innocent 9-year olds memorial service. Not for anyone.

Though I am usually not a fan of the state of Arizona nor Governor Jan Brewer, the actions the state made today concerning passing a law that bars protests within 300 feet of a funeral and within an hour from its beginning or end is commendable. Sending this message is the right thing to do.

I also want to commend the "angel action" that will be taking place tomorrow, shielding the mourners from the Church with large angel wings. Both Democrat and Republican lawmakers in Arizona also plan on asking the community to line the procession route to shield the mourning family and friends. Sending this message is the right thing to do.

I said this once and will say it again...to the members of the Westboro Baptist Church - God is watching you...and he is mad.