I technically would say I have three jobs currently. I am a dog walker a few hours a day, a Freelance Writer/Blogger and I work for a company called ChaCha as an "independent consultant". Believe me when I tell you...the phrase "independent consultant" isn't as fancy as it sounds. What it comes down to is I answer questions online for people who are too lazy to look them up themselves. I would say the main demographic of ChaCha is that 12-17 year old male group...I am sure you can only imagine the questions I answer. Today is your lucky day, as I am going to share some of my favorite questions I have received from people using ChaCha. I have NO IDEA of the true identity of these people, nor their age, gender or if they actually are serious in the questions they ask. I sincerely hope they are NOT serious.
The vast majority of questions I get are fairly normal. Many people use ChaCha to cheat on homework or tests (Teachers! Watch out for this!!!) so I answer a lot of math, literature, science and history questions. Weather comes up fairly often, as well as "Where is "so and so" restaurant/shop/store in "Insert city here"". Easy enough....
What scares me about the future of our country are the ones who ask questions like these...(They are completely unedited...this is a copy and paste from my ChaCha screen)
"How mutch dose a magyzine editer get payed if I was one?"
"Is there a kind of vegan that eats meat but not seafood?"
"What country is Bolivia in"
"What country or state lowa in?"
"Hhow can i find my I.Q. i wanna see how schmart i am??
Unfortunately I have to answer these questions seriously. Like for the first one about the "magyzine editer"...I am supposed to say "According to Salary.com, a magazine editor salary ranges between $20,000 - $85,000 depending on various factors. Some make $100,000 and more."
What I would love to say to this person is: "Are you freakin' serious??? You can't even spell! How do you expect to be a magazine editor? You may want to chose a career better suited to your intelligence level".
Do you understand why I am concerned???
The other main types of questions I get are the sex/body part questions. At least daily I see "What is the biggest penis in the world"...(Im sure you all know, if you read this blog regularly, how I feel about this one...want me to send you a photo, kid????) The others are just plain frightening....such as these gems....
"Is it ok if 2 ants get in to my vagina?"
"Can you spread gental warts through drinking after an infected person?"
"My girlfriends vagina looks like jaws from james bond. Im scared. What do i do?"
 |
| I can imagine the horror of a vagina looking like this. |
There are the annoying, stupid ones, where I want to pull my hair out when I get them...
"Can you give me some information about John Stump? Like where he sleeps and how many testicles he has?"
"How many girls in Minnesota are on Birth control"
"Tell me 1000 random words from the dictionary."
"What is the name of your penis?"
"How do I fit 4 elephants in a mini cooper"
"How can I get poop out of the toaster?"
"How can i inform the government that i've been abducted by aliens?"
The obvious....
"I told this girl that I liked her and she said she liked me too, what does that mean?"
And my personal favorite question of all time....(Before I get any hate mail for posting this...it is a valid question, but misspelled... you will obviously see my confusion on this when you first read it)
"How do I become a famous raper?" (Obviously they mean "rapper", but the way it came across...too funny)
So...am I right to be concerned about the future? Does this represent the type of things we are dealing with? I cannot remember ever acting like that when I was that age (Oh GOD!!!! I can't believe I said that!!! Sure sign of being old!!!) Hopefully I will be doing a lot more writing and a lot less ChaCha-ing in the future...I have something in the works...
3 comments:
I am (was?) a cha cha guide. It was fun but I never really figured out how to make any money doing it. The crazy questions were worth it though!
You are amazing. Can you get a column with an area newspaper or something? Funny girl.
I wish Cletis! I looking into it actually...fingers crossed the right person stumbles upon it.
Post a Comment