Week in Review??? Where Have I Been????? Who am I???

Yes. I am here! Almost 100% here actually...which is an immense improvement on where I was just a few short days ago. See, I made a very important life-changing decision on February 1st, totally out of the blue actually. It even shocked me! No, I did not join a convent or become a nun.  No, I did not move to a small, uninhabited island in the Caribbean. No, I did  not becoming a Republican. I am not pregnant, engaged, coming out of the closet..or becoming a Republican. (Just wanted to reiterate that!)

It has been 7 days...well, 6 if we want to get technical since today is not over.  It has taken me 6 days to be able to sit in front of the computer, no interruptions, no jumping around my apartment like an insane kangaroo on crack, no yelling, screaming, crying or eating 5 pounds of M&M's. (I have done all these things in the past week)

My concentration is almost back, I can type with relative ease, I can sit in one spot for more than 10 minutes, I can go for long spans of time without something in my mouth or hands. I am coughing a lot, sneezing like a fiend, but I smell great, feel a bit more sane, have energy and could pass any test for nicotine in my system.  Yes.  I stopped smoking.

Now at this point, there will likely be 1 of these reactions coming from your head (I have heard them all over the past few days) :

1) You smoke? I didn't even know! - Yes. I have smoked since college actually. About 20 years old.  I never hid the fact that I smoked, but never felt it was an extreme necessity to wear shirts that say "I am a nicotine addict" either. I could go for hours and hours without smoking and was never a huge chain smoker, but I always went to my friend, nicotine, at least a few times a day, many days much more than a few.

2) Awesome!  Good for you! I am proud of you! - Generally the reaction of the non-smokers or ex-smokers who are happy to have me join their team. They have all tended to be extremely chipper and smiley as they have said this.

3) Oh? Um...good.  Good for you...um...yeah. - Generally the reaction of the smokers I know...who are probably scared shitless I will make the suggestion that they join me in my "non-smoking" lifestyle. No. I will not tell you to join me. It is a 100% personal decision. If you would have asked me 2 weeks ago if I would be a smoker today, February 7th, 2011, I would have said "Absolutely". Something clicked in my head one day and I chose to do this. Don't be scared.  I will fight for you to continue to make this choice if you want to.

4) Silence and "The Look" - This from those who know I have always smoked, have yelled at me 1000's of times for smoking, hated that I smoked and really couldn't do a thing about it. The few in this category probably think I will fail.


With the decision made on February 1st, 2011 and today being February 7th, 2011 my physical symptoms are just about gone.  Cravings are gone, I haven't thought about cigarettes or smoking. I feel pretty good physically. Mentally I am feeling good too...better than I have. I can concentrate, hold a conversation, type without (too many) typo's, read without pause, laugh, smile and feel overly good about this decision. I still feel myself zoning out every once in awhile, but it is 1000 times better. Those commercials with the people running over things and knocking things over...I believe it is becomeanex.org...that is NO JOKE. I know I would not be able to drive a fork lift or go bowling in that condition. The commercials are funny...look for them....I admit...I broke a plate, dropped multiple items and tripped...more than usual.

What is really NO JOKE is this...I made a decision and I intend to stick to it. If you have positive things to say, I want to hear them. I want the support. If you have negative things to say, keep it to yourself. I don't want to hear it peeps. I need a calm, relaxing, meditative life for a few days. As I learn to live my life in this way, I invite you all to keep joining me on my blog. I welcome comments, questions and the occasional humorous jabs.

I also want to send a special shout out to Kellie Jones for directing me to the right words to read. To my aunt, Diane, for checking up on me every day. To my dad, Jim/Todd, for re-affirming my determination and strength to me and to all of my Twitter followers, especially the Gercak's, for listening to my bitching and moaning at  the beginning of the week. To Cletis, my editing is coming soon.  Also for everything and everyone I forgot about, yelled at, or thought bad thoughts about this past week...which is admittedly more than I would like, I am sorry...and I will try harder on Wednesday. :)