Day in Review - Resolutions and Relevations

Welcome to the first post of 2012.  So far the year is going well, though I realize we have only gone through nine days. Not much has changed. I am still sitting on my sofa with Chloe. I am in my pajamas with a glass of wine and it feels like 2011.  Sometimes, at least for me, it takes a bit for a new year to settle into my bones.

Who has made a resolution?  Mine is to focus on ONE...just ONE of my ideas for a novel...I have three...and write. Other than that, I really have no resolutions. My mom wants my resolution to be meet a nice guy and have a baby but I told her I gave up on love. She has her own resolutions that I am fully supporting.

My 2011 resolution was to have more fun and I think I did pretty well with that.  Though there were moments that were not so fun, such as the first weeks after I quit smoking and when I got roofied. I was, in my defense, trying to have fun when I got roofied, but I don't remember if I actually did. The year was certainly met with surprises and things that tried to get me down, but I think I was fairly successful in the fun factor which means I hope to continue the trend.

Christmas and the New Year celebrations were great. I feel very blessed for the time I was able to spend with my family and for the giving and receiving that went on. Some of my favorite gifts were my new Coach purse, my ornament with Chloe's picture on it, my new dish towels, a new tube of Burt's Bee's lip balm and my new Camelbak water bottle...

I have wanted this water bottle for a long time, but I am too cheap to spend the $25 it cost, so I took the opportunity to request it in the family gift exchange where we all chose names and had a limit of...$25 - $30. My cousin Jason got my name, his wife Katie sent me an e-mail asking what I wanted, I gave her exact specifications and soon, I had my brand new water bottle in my hands.

My new water bottle

I had to prepare the bottle before using it since it has a filter. I had to totally disassemble the bottle, wash the entire bottle, rinse the filter and re-assemble it in order to use it, but once I did, I knew I was in love....until a thought crossed my mind...

See, this bottle...it has a bite valve on it.  This means, that when you want to take a drink, you need to bite down on the valve. The valve opens up and you suck the water into your mouth. I had been using the water bottle for a few days and getting used to the "bite then suck" motion. I became very interested in the bite valve...and I swear...I have no idea why I thought this...but I was...well...manipulating the bite valve with my fingers trying to figure out how it worked and then it hit me....this thing looked like a vagina.

I won't go into the particular details, but if you have a water bottle with a bite valve, take a look at it and you will see what I mean. Hmmm...perhaps it is only me but when I drink out of it, still, to this day....that thought briefly crosses my mind...

Speaking of resolutions and vaginas....

Many people have the resolution to go to the gym and that has been apparent at Planet Fitness the past few days. It is packed. I like to go in the mid morning hours and usually I have my pick of treadmills and bikes, but it has been more crowded as usual which leads me to a story. Picture it...Planet Fitness, 2012.....

It was crowded on this particular morning at the gym.  I was having a good workout...for me, anyway. I had already done a nice warm up walk/jog on the treadmill and had totally faced my fears and gotten on the elliptical for the first time since the unfortunate "fall off the elliptical" incident several years ago. I felt really damn good about myself as I walked to the back of the gym to focus on my arms. I was sweaty and gross, but I didn't care...I had met one of my fears head on and came out on the other side totally unscathed. It was a triumphant moment and even though my muscles were tired and weak...there was a spring in my step and attitude as I pulled down the weights and felt the biceps burn. I then moved over to the low row weights and it all fell apart....

No, this in not me, but it is like the machine I was using....

I was sitting on the bench and doing my row...it was then that I saw the suspicious man with the hat.  He was standing across the room and had his cell phone out. I saw his eyes darting between me and the cell phone...then I saw a flash and a smirk...his eyes darted up one more time and he walked away.

Of course I was A) totally self conscious B) wondering why he was making fun of me C) wondering if I had a hole in the crotch of my pants and my...ummm...chichi (or whatever you would like to call it, I suppose vagina is the politically correct word) was showing  D) thinking I was doing the row wrong and he was taking the picture to show his friends E) totally ugly and fat F) completely angry

So much for my workout...I just quit and walked back into the locker room. I had to check my crotch/chichi to make sure it wasn't making an inappropriate appearance (no hole in my pants, by the way) and just put on my coat and walked out.

This still bothers me for two reasons...one, because the guy seriously took a picture of me without my permission and two because my first thought was that something was wrong with me, that I am ugly and that he was making fun of me. Perhaps I should choose to add a new resolution...to build up my self esteem. A part of me is embarrassed that I even felt those things. Another part of me is angry for letting him make me feel that way.  A third part of me is afraid it is true and a fourth part of me is trying to push all of the low and negative thoughts out of my head. There is a fifth part, as well, that is just happy that I didn't turn Planet Fitness into an amateur porn palace by flashing my hoo ha all over the place.

I guess tomorrow is another day and I need to go back to the gym.  I was supposed to go today, but since the weekend was a little crazy and I pulled a muscle in my left Maximus Gluteus from being a bowler/dancing machine for hours on Saturday, I opted not to go. (Seriously, it was an effort to make it from my bed to desk.  I needed an ass massage, but Chloe wouldn't do it and since I gave up on love, I have no boyfriend to do it.) It is still painful today, but hopefully tomorrow will be better and I can get back to work. 

Until next time, my friends...


PS...if a post mentioning vaginas offends you, I apologize. I figured since I had a penis post, it was only fair...