What you need to know...

I am 29 years old...I will be thirty in 73 days from today. Seems like a lot, but when you think about it in months, it is only a little over two months. The basics...29 and 3/4...female...blonde hair, blue eyes...average build (after losing about 60 pounds due to stress I think)

I have a lot going on in my head.

I live in NY...right outside the city. I feel kind of like Doogie Howser or something, because I want to do this blog as a daily thing...mostly to just get my feelings and thoughts out. Doogie Howser always did that on his old school computer in the show. All I remember about that show is the computer and his friend Vinnie. Doogie...I don't think I would want to go to a doctor named Doogie. Anyway, moving on.

I don't sleep. Maybe I should rephrase that. I don't sleep without help. My mom used to tell me I didn't sleep through the night until I was over a year-old. Maybe it is engrained in me or something. I took Lunesta for about a month which was WONDERFUL. Then I tried to re-fill it and before the doctor would let me get a re-fill he wanted me to come back for an appointment. Adding that up in my head, I had already been there twice. $25 for one appointment, $25 for another, $50 for the medication. That is $100 just to be able to sleep through the night, plus he wanted another $25 plus the $50 for the medication. $75 or the $5.99 Walgreens version of Tylenol PM was my choice...I chose Walgreens. Now I sleep...with help, of course, and I am probably getting myself addicted to OTC sleep meds, but beinig able to sleep today seems more pressing then worrying about long term affects of the Tylenol PM. I am going off on a tangent here. I will get back to my sleeping problems later...

I smoke a lot. It costs too much money and I have tried to quit four times now. I am an addict. I love smoking. I smoke ultra lights just to try to trick myself into thinking it isn't as bad. Sad, isn't it?

I am afraid. Afraid of a lot. I will get into this at another time though.

I am a professional. Yes, I am a professional, I went to college, went to grad school, now I am in the business world. Technically I am a Human Resources Director. That is what my business cards say. I have a looooooot of stories. People tell me I am good at what I do. I like it, it has its good sides and bad sides.

I am a girl and I have confessions. Confessions about myself, my achievements, my dreams, my sins, my losses. I am a girl.