Saturday, August 20, 2011

Week in Review - Exciting Stuff, My CNN Behind the Scenes Moment and Smelly Neighbors

I was way excited this week when I was mentioned in a "Behind the Scenes" video on CNN for a great Tweet I sent to the amazingly awesome Brooke Baldwin. Now I have definitely mentioned Brooke in this blog before and I am sure I will again, but just want to thank her for talking about my excellent taste in music (She's right! :) We like a lot of the same music. I would definitely pay money to just get a glance at her MP3 player. If I was ever really motivated to take a music tour of the US following awesome bands, I would absolutely ask her to come with me.).  If you want to check it out, the video is here: Christa mentioned in WeekWinddown   It is about 2:30 on the video if you don't want to watch the whole thing. I am assuming I will really be on her show in the flesh one day when my novel gets published and everyone loves it.  (Positive thinking peeps....it works...read on....) I try to have her show on every day - 3-5pm EDT.  Check it out on CNN. 

Another excellent thing that has happened is I have signed on, FULL FREAKIN' TIME as a writer for a communications firm.  I have been very busy writing articles and the work is fun.  It keeps my attention, it is different every day and most of all, it is steady work.  On top of this, I have been hired for a month long project for an Australian company writing articles for them, so you will have to excuse me if you notice misspellings like "energise" instead of "energize". (This is also why I am home writing a blog post on Saturday night...I had to work!) It is nice for everything to fall into place like this.  I am very thankful for it all. Though I have had pretty steady work writing e-Books and articles for other websites, it wasn't always as steady as I would have liked, so this is amazing.

Speaking of being thankful, I want to say how thankful I am as well for my friends.  I have been lucky enough the past few weeks to have seen a few college friends in addition to re-connecting with the friend I spoke of in my last post.  One may have given me mono and another may have given me a new perspective on life, but that's what friends are for, right? 

Let's talk about my neighbor for a minute...this particular neighbor is the one who slams the door 17,000 times per day and who has the mysterious smell coming from his apartment that may or may not be a meth lab.  It should be mentioned that I do not live in a neighborhood where meth labs are prevalent.  I live in the "Gold Coast" area of Lakewood, if anyone is familiar.  I feel very safe here, love the diversity and have never  seen or heard of a major crime of any kind even remotely near me. Honestly, I have no idea what this smell is...it is like no smell I have ever had the displeasure of smelling in my life. I don't know what meth labs typically smell like, so it could technically be anything, but I would bet $5 something illegal is going on in there. Today, I was sitting on my couch with my laptop at 7:30am writing about how to get your baby to sleep when I noticed this horrible smell was lightly seeping in. (Yes...I know I only have a dog and a few plants. I  have little to no experience with babies...though in my defense I was able to grow two little mini tomatoes and Chloe is almost 6 years old...that has to count for something)

I don't know if he likes to make meth at 7:30 am on a Saturday or what, but I opened the door to take Chloe outside for a little walk and I gagged because the smell was so noxious and offensive. I don't know that it has ever been so bad as it was this morning.  Honestly, I have no idea what the smell is, all I know is it is nasty beyond belief.  To make things even more mysterious, there is something alive in that apartment...I hear it's cries...at first I thought it was a cat, but after hearing it a few times...that sound is like no other cat I have heard before.  Seriously, I almost wonder if it is a monkey of some kind.  It almost sounds like a baby (human, not cat), but not a baby, if that makes any sense whatsoever.
Are You My Neighbor????


As an animal/monkey/sometimes human lover, I now feel it is my duty to help whatever creature may be in there to safety, so I am going to try to talk to my landlord about it.  Now that the smell is actually coming into my apartment, I am going to take offense. There is, however, another reason for my vendetta against this neighbor.....

I stopped at Subway today for a $5 foot long. I love Subway because they are reasonably healthy and where else can you get lunch and dinner for $5? Anyway, I pulled into the driveway of my building to get into my garage and I see my neighbor's car in front of me. (We park near each other in the garage, so I know his little Toyota). Oh wait....I need to preface this story first...I drive an SUV....he drives an older Corolla.  There is a definite size difference between our cars...this will be important in a moment) Now to get into the garage, there is a key you must use. Since he was already at the key stand, I simply pulled up behind him to enter the garage. To close the garage, soon after you enter, there is a pull-string you use to close the garage. I see him reach out to pull the string....except ALERT, ALERT, ALERT...my car is right behind his, directly under the garage door! At this point, it definitely goes all "slo mo" and I hear BANG on my roof as the garage door comes down on my car.  I beep the horn and start yelling "MOVE UP! MOVE UP!" BANG on my car. Honk again, BANG on my car. I see his car door opening, BANG on my car.  He leans out and looks behind him, BANG on my car.  I start screaming at him to move forward, BANG on my car. Finally the imbecile moves forward and gets out of his car.  I also move forward and immediately get out of my car, climb up in the door frame and look at the top where it was SMASHED by the garage door.  There were no dents, just paint and rubber marks from the bottom of the door. I finally turn to him and this is the conversation we had:

Him - "Wow.  Um...I didn't see you there" (Remember, I have an SUV, he has a small Toyota!!!!)
Me - "How could you not see me?  I was yelling and beeping my horn at you!"
Him - "I am really sorry....um, is your car OK?"
Me- "Well it looks OK, but I will probably want to have it checked by a professional" (Meaning have my dad look at it, who is NOT a car professional)
Him - "I'm sorry, it's not like you don't know where I live if something is wrong, (Maniacal laughter from him) I will take care of it. I had a medical procedure yesterday and I am a little out of it"
Me - (In a higher octave) "Then you shouldn't be driving!!!!"
Him - "I know.  I just went to CVS.  I am really sorry.  I will take care of it if there is damage." (Mind you, CVS is directly across the street.  I walk there all the time)
Me - "Yes.  I will let you know."

I got into my car at that point and drove to my parking spot.

A few hours later, I got this note under my door:

"Dear Resident: The rollers on the garage door entrance have snapped off.  The garage door company has been alerted, and will stop by to see what parts they need....."

The letter goes on about the door being fixed on Monday and to call the Management office if you have any questions.

I crumbled it up, threw it away and went back to writing about baby sleep schedules.

Have an awesome weekend.

PS - By the way, my dad is celebrating his birthday tomorrow (8/21) so wish Jim/Todd a Happy Birthday.  I have been  looking for a funny card for him (a little tradition between us).  I finally found one today that made me not only laugh out loud, I almost peed my pants.

3 comments:

Cletis said...

That neighbor isn't named Dahlmer, is he? (As in, JEFFREY DAHLMER.) Please summon the constabulary forthwith.

Uncle Florida said...

So it must of been a meth lab,You forgot to mention what the noise was and what the smell was. LOL

Confessionista said...

Dearest Uncle Florida

I didn't know what the smell was at the time, but I do now! It is actually really gross and kind of sad. It was no monkey though!

You will have to wait for the upcoming blog post solving the mystery....