Weekend in Review - Don't Feed the Trolls , It Goes Right to the Hips!

Happy Monday, my friends! (and my enemies since you are probably reading this. I want you to have a very happy Monday as well.)  

I will say this one time and one time only - This blog and the comments on the blog are open for all.  You can love the blog or hate the blog...it doesn't matter to me. If you love it, read it, share it, talk about it to your friends... if you hate it, don't! I appreciate all the feedback.  I would, however, appreciate if people don't say my dog is ugly.  She was made special by God and cannot help that she has large ears....

Chloe = Not Ugly

I want to have fun...so I am going to share the answers to some of the questions you have asked over the weekend.  I got a ton of questions!  It was really fun to read them. Without further ado...

Q: Are you ever on drugs when you write these? 

A: I am never on drugs when I write blog posts, though I can see why you would think I was. I have been known to drink some wine while writing though.  

Q: I think it's funny that you call your parents Sarah and Todd. Do you think Sarah Palin is the Antichrist? 

A: My parents think it is funny too.  They jokingly now refer to themselves as Sarah and Todd at times. I don't think Sarah Palin is the Antichrist...I think she is an idiot. 

Q. Hey Bristol...How is Sarah and Todd today!!!!!!!

A: You are funny....

Q. Are the things you write about true or are these fiction? 

A: It's all true. I could never make this up!  I have an imagination but it's not this good! 

Q: You are hot...would you accept e-mails from chicks? If not, I will be a guy...

A: If I can't find a guy soon, I may consider it...but only if this is someone on my list....

Q: If you didn't have Chloe, what kind of dog would you have?

A: If I didn't have Chloe, I would have a cat....or a fennic fox...I would probably pick a pug, cause I love Zoe...and pigs. 

Q: Why are you so conceited?

A: Because I am a hot piece of arse, I am a television star, I am freaking hilarious, I have a beautiful dog, I make amazing food, take gorgeous photos, have awesome hair, have the most bright blue eyes that people get lost in, write poems that make people cry, have an impeccable taste in music, quit smoking all by myself, and take 2 "I am better than you" pills each morning.

Q. Why do you watch CNN? Why do you hate FOX News? (This is probably a boring answer until the end)

A: Let's start with FOX News...seriously, I realize that FOX News has a big following...for someone who has a more conservative outlook on news, politics, etc, I believe in their right to watch it. For my real answer...it sucks, plain and simple. This is my opinion -   It is totally biased, their anchors/hosts make me want to throw things at my television, they LIE, they have Sarah Palin on way too much, I don't like Greta Van Susteren's plastic surgery results  and get a little scared when she is on screen, (like I need my childhood blankie scared) and just the mention of the network gives me heartburn and nausea...

Now CNN - In all honesty...I only started watching CNN because I thought Anderson Cooper was hot...that was years ago. I also have an old man crush on Wolf Blitzer and think Jack Cafferty is hilarious. (I am watching it right now...He seriously just said Sarah Palin can't see India from her house!!! Pure old man comedy)   If I went with what I fully believe, I would probably watch MSNBC all the time...however, they are very left leaning...and though I go for that, and definitely watch it, I try to be responsible and get a less leftist view of the world and feel CNN is a little more in the middle than extreme left or extreme right. If I get real honest...I actually only watch CNN in the mornings (when Golden Girls isn't on)/afternoon...unless there is someone great on Piers Morgan Tonight I want to see...

(If you skipped the FOX News vs CNN rant above, join us here...If I sent you a special "Are you Mentioned Message", you are mentioned down here!)

 I want to leave you today with some words of coded wisdom from me to you...ok...from me to my favorite "Hater". If you are not the "Hater" you may stop reading if you wish...you may also just want to figure out where my brain is going with this, if you are someone who likes mysteries and code...

I will always fight for the voice of an angel that touches my soul, England is where my heart lies. 

Effects that go far beyond notes on a page and transport a mind across time and space. 

I will always cheer for the one who unexpectedly entered my dream, in auburn and blue. Fear stands in the way and the unknown looms. I push away and still the universe makes it happen. I wait for the sign from the south. Discretion is mandatory.

I will always soar when adversity appears. I have never walked the same path as others. Though others think they know whats right, I feel the direction I need to travel. Coins fall from cups.

I will always stand against the cold and empty wind. I will report what I see and know, bringing cheer to some, terror to others, all with the same words. We all have a place, mine is set, is yours?

Day in Review - Panties on the Sidewalk and 3D Porn.

Thursday....almost the weekend.  I never really have a real weekend though since I currently am working 7 days a week. There is a different feel to those days, however. Like I switch the CD from Adele to The Decemberists....(Both absolutely AMAZING music!!!!!)


Please, if you like this blog, share it with your friends...leave me comments. Become a follower! What do you want to hear about? What do you want to know? Lets chat! (Unless you are going to send me penis pictures...in which case I don't want to chat)

So....

I found some panties on the sidewalk today.  There I was...walking down West 9th in Cleveland and I see something pink in the middle of the sidewalk. I move in to investigate....

Yes. They were panties. On the sidewalk. At noon.  Pink with a blue elastic band and a little bow.  I have a similar pair myself....

Pink Panties - a drink...unfortunately not the pink panties I found today...

At this point I wondered if I should move them or if it was OK to leave these panties in the middle of the sidewalk. Surely I was not the first person to see them, right? I thought about picking them up...(only because I am one of those trash picker-uppers who like to see the city look clean!)

Seriously, what was I thinking!  Who knows what kind of nasty gonorrhea I could get from discarded, nasty, dirty underwear. I could have gotten the Herps!

So I left them...if anyone is missing a pair of pink panties with a blue elastic band and a little bow, they are right near West 9th and Lakeside.  My aunt said they may be hers, but I think she was joking...at least I hope she was....

Moving on....

I just need to get this out of my system right now because I am still chuckling over it and I know I won't stop until I write this down. Was watching CNN today, as I usually do in the afternoon (I say watching, but it was really on in the background on the TV behind me) and I hear "3D Porn"...of course, I have to look and see what the deal is.  Long story short (this isn't the funny part yet) it's pretty much exactly what it sounds like...available in Europe, certain times only, blah, blah, blah.  The hilarious part about this was while anchor Brooke Baldwin is hiding her face behind a piece of paper blushing, CNN Business Correspondent Alison Kosik says with a smile, "It's 3D so it makes you feel like you are in on the action". This was, perhaps the funniest few seconds of news I have seen in a long time.  It has been seriously 20 minutes and I am still laughing about it.  I know, I know....Tunisia, Stock Market, Westboro Baptist (Yes, God is still watching you, idiots), all this seriousness in the news...but that moment of utter hilarity totally made my day. Thank you Alison Kosik.  I need that.

I know...none of you probably see the humor in that story...you may have to be partially insane as I am.  I LOVE the news!  I generally DO NOT like news anchors...

I went off on some people today about news anchors though...I will talk about that a bit later...though not in this post. I will have to get all fired up again.  There are a few I like and trust...Katie Couric, Anderson Cooper, Wolf Blitzer, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow (I like them, you can like whoever you want, but I better not see the names "Gl*nn B*ck", "Sh*p*rd Sm*th" or "B*ll O'R**lly" in my comments section or in any "nastygrams" to me. If you want to put that trash online, do it on your own blog.)

Unless they are one of my "faves", I usually don't take them extremely seriously. I think before long there will be a few more added to the list.  I like Brooke Baldwin...not yet in love with her, but she's definitely working on me...she seems smart from what I can tell.  I know the minor tricks of the trade from A) watching so much news B) taking several classes in news production and C) because I am fairly smart (Believe it!) I think she is generally smart. Smart is important to me when it comes to news. Smart is how you get on my list of "faves".....

(Edit...since publication, Brooke Baldwin has informed me that she loves The Decemberists, I can move "not yet in love" up to "LOVE!!!!!")

WHICH IS WHY I GOT SO PISSED OFF TODAY AND NEARLY LOST MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!   (Remember this post and these comments...because I am going to come back to them at some point in the near future.)

In closing, I have two confessions...this is, after all called "Confessions of a Girl", right?  My first one is....I am back on the M&M's....I passed them today and couldn't help myself. I will try harder next time....I did do a little 30 minute work out, so I don't feel totally 100% guilty. 

My 2nd confession is semi related and was likely the cause of buying the M&M's. As I was going into my first stop of the day today...I saw a cigarette...a brand new, just out of the pack cigarette....sitting on the little outside ash tray. I wanted it.  I wanted to pick it up.  I wanted to take it with me. I had a rough, stressful morning...I started to reach for it....

Then I thought....CHRISTA!  What the HELL are you doing taking a random CIGARETTE from a NASTY ashtray that you don't even know where it's been????

I walked away...the addict  in me was suppressed.  Soon after I saw the pink panties and this post will go full circle.

Come to think of it though, I could have gotten the Herps from that cigarette too! Weird!

Day in Review - Return of the Ghost and New Kids on the Block Are Still Cool

Monday again?  Seems like it comes faster each week!

A few announcements - I am feeling SO much better today after my workout mania over the weekend.  I am barely sore at all. So much, in fact, I may go again tomorrow! 

If you want to read a wonderful post on fatherhood, check out this post from my friend, Adam - Throwing Quarters It will make you say "Awwww" and make you hungry...

I have a confession...As I have said before, I have an old man crush on Wolf Blitzer...I think he may be getting replaced though....as I was watching everyone's favorite CNN anchor, Brooke Baldwin today, she did an interview with Piers Morgan...and I fell in love. (Not with Brooke, with Piers) 

 Last announcement...My now infamous, hilarious posting Why I am Still Single  has gone semi-viral! It has been mentioned on other blogs and has helped me almost reach 1000 views.  Lets hit it today!  Thanks to all who read and share this. (PS...if you want to share it, click the Facebook or Twitter buttons on the right side of the page.)

Now on to the regularly scheduled post...

Do you remember the issue I was having a few weeks ago with the weird dreams and mysterious scratches?  (Look here if you need a review: Day in Review - 308745538) Well, the dreams have continued since then, but no odd instances...until today!

This is a true story: If you read this blog regularly, you know I have a dog named Chloe. She is small and during the winter, I like to keep her in sweaters for warmth (They are cute too.  I give you permission to make fun of me for this). Last night, I went to bed normally and Chloe snuggled in next to me...with her sweater on. Eventually I fell into a slumber. When I woke up this morning, Chloe was sitting on the bed...all white and naked...no sweater. I didn't think much of it at the time, assuming it just came off during the night and was lost somewhere in the 5 blankets on the bed. About an hour later, she came out of the bedroom and did her "I have to go outside dance", so I went in the bedroom to find the sweater...not there. I lifted off the blankets, layer by layer...shook them out...threw them in a pile on the floor...no sweater.  Finally, getting down to the flannel sheets, I took those off too...no sweater. Frustrated at this, I just put one of her little coats on her, we went outside, she did her business and we came back upstairs. I then went on a frantic search for the sweater...I lifted all the blankets up again, looked under the bed, under the pillows, looked in her crate, looked on the couch, under the couch, under the desk, in the kitchen...all of her favorite little spots...no sweater...so I went back to work.

Throughout the day I would take little breaks, and ultimately would end up looking for the sweater...it is really bothering me, if you can't tell. Seriously...I do not live in a mansion...I live in a one bedroom apartment. There are not a lot of places this sweater can be...it is just GONE. I have looked for it all day, hoping for a happy conclusion, but alas, there is none. I am blaming the ghost....I just wish the ghost would bring that sweater back...it looked so cute!

Speaking of cute...how was I the only one to not know Jonathan Knight of NKOTB was gay???  I randomly saw a Twitter post about it today and, though I wasn't shocked, I felt like a bad New Kids fan! This apparently became public knowledge 2 years ago, though it was never confirmed. 2 YEARS???  I guess they did fall out of the spotlight there for awhile, but I am usually on it when it comes to NKOTB news.  I loved the group then, I love them now.  I am actually trying to swindle some tickets to their upcoming concert with the Backstreet Boys. Anyone want to go if I am successful?  I am proud of Jonathan though...I think more celebs should come out...you KNOW there are TONS out there...be real people! 

New Kids on the Block was actually my first real concert...I remember it well...and the incident that happened at that concert...where I got in big time trouble...maybe I will share it with you all one day....

Day in Review - I Wonder What the Neighbors Think....

Cold and snowy day in Cleveland. I got about 6 inches of snow at my place. The poor dog is having a heck of a time going "potty" outside.  Luckily she has big ears, so I was able to see her when she fell in some sort of random divot today.  She is Ok, don't worry. She did have to have a sweater change though.

Walking dogs in the snow is tough.  I walked two today, in addition to my own, both big, furry and loving the snow on the ground. After I fell for the 2nd time, I said hell with it and came home. Now my ass hurts, but I am warm, comfortable and there is no snow in here. This is just a warning about karma....I laughed at my mom for falling yesterday, so of course, today, I fall twice.

Speaking of dogs...and attempting to not sound too insane, I was thinking today about how much I talk to my dog. I always say good morning to her when she wakes up, I ask her if she wants to go outside and if she wants to eat. She always comes into the bathroom with me and we have deep conversations about life (That's a joke...I don't spend that long in the bathroom)....

Just off the top of my head today I told her how harebrained I think Sarah Palin is, I told her it is was very snowy and cold out, I told her to stop licking the carpet (she has an obsessive-compulsive thing where she walks around the whole house licking rugs and the carpet on the floor), I told her she absolutely could not take her Platypus outside with her (She had her favorite toy, "Platty" in her mouth as we were walking out the door) and I had to take my calcium because it is good for my bones (She was begging, thinking it was a treat).

Now am I the only one who does this? Should I seek professional assistance?  This led me to wonder if my neighbors can hear the one-sided conversation that goes on in my apartment...do they hear random snippets as I am standing by the door?

"No! You can't take your platypus!"  - Possibly the first time this sentence has been said in the history of the world.

Platty the Platypus

"STOP LICKING THE CARPET!!"  - I don't even want to know what they are thinking on that one...

"ARRGHHHHH  What are you thinking, Sarah Palin?!?!?!?" - Obviously this sentence has been written many times in the history of the world.

"Wolf Blitzer is a cute guy!" - Sue me...I have some kind of old man crush on Wolf...

"HA HA HA HA HA HA" - Me TOTALLY laughing out loud with a huge guffaw at a movie the other night ("Sorority Boys"...it was hilarious....check it out if you have the chance).

So looking at these independent quotes, it does make me wonder what the neighbors think...luckily there is no one across the hall at the moment, but I dare say, at some point in the near future, I will have new neighbors.

Perhaps I should make some cookies for them so at least I have a good first impression...then it can all go to hell in a hand basket.

Day in Review - Speachless and Sickened....

Before I begin today's blog post, I have a few announcements to make.

1. I have finally figured out how to allow people to comment directly to the blog (Please use it!  I would love to see feedback)  You should be able to click the comment button directly below the post. You can remain nameless if you like. 

2. If you have a chance, I am still pimping this website - http://libetisocial.com/. Check it out, join the discussion.

3. Do you use Twitter?  Follow me there!  christamarie123 

Now on to our regularly scheduled blog post....


Though I am an avid CNN watcher, I have to admit I have been tuning in more the past few days. Though my mornings are generally spent with the Golden Girls and Saved By The Bell, my afternoons belong to Ali Velshi, Brooke Baldwin and Wolf Blitzer. Don't get the wrong idea...the TV is on in the background while I work, and I usually only listen to it, as opposed to watching it. If something airs I want to see, I will flip around in my chair and check it out.  Today, I did a huge turn around...as I heard Brooke Baldwin utter the words "Westboro Baptist Church".


Though I am sure most of you know who they are, this is the group that protests funerals of service members, other churches, funerals of those who have died from AIDS, funerals of gay people, football games, concerts, etc, etc.  They are, in my opinion, a group that stands for and promotes hate, negativity, hostility, poison and all that inspires odious acts. They recently showed up to protest the funeral of Elizabeth Edwards and now have plans to protest the funeral of 9-year old Christina Green, killed in the massacre in Tuscon, which is scheduled for tomorrow.The church said in a statement "God sent the shooter! "Praise God for ALL his works, and BE YE THANKFUL!."

I support Freedom of Speech...I believe it is an important part of our United States laws. HOWEVER, protesting the funeral ANYONE, including a 9-year old girl is sickening to me. The evil it must take to stand at any funeral and hold up signs that say "God Hates Fags" and "God Hates America" is beyond me, and luckily beyond 99% of the population. It is totally inappropriate, wrong and indecent. I could care less if they want to walk up and down the street promoting their grotesque and nonsensical messages, that is their right...but not at a funeral. Not for an innocent 9-year olds memorial service. Not for anyone.

Though I am usually not a fan of the state of Arizona nor Governor Jan Brewer, the actions the state made today concerning passing a law that bars protests within 300 feet of a funeral and within an hour from its beginning or end is commendable. Sending this message is the right thing to do.

I also want to commend the "angel action" that will be taking place tomorrow, shielding the mourners from the Church with large angel wings. Both Democrat and Republican lawmakers in Arizona also plan on asking the community to line the procession route to shield the mourning family and friends. Sending this message is the right thing to do.

I said this once and will say it again...to the members of the Westboro Baptist Church - God is watching you...and he is mad.