Weekend in Review - Don't Feed the Trolls , It Goes Right to the Hips!

Happy Monday, my friends! (and my enemies since you are probably reading this. I want you to have a very happy Monday as well.)  

I will say this one time and one time only - This blog and the comments on the blog are open for all.  You can love the blog or hate the blog...it doesn't matter to me. If you love it, read it, share it, talk about it to your friends... if you hate it, don't! I appreciate all the feedback.  I would, however, appreciate if people don't say my dog is ugly.  She was made special by God and cannot help that she has large ears....

Chloe = Not Ugly

I want to have fun...so I am going to share the answers to some of the questions you have asked over the weekend.  I got a ton of questions!  It was really fun to read them. Without further ado...

Q: Are you ever on drugs when you write these? 

A: I am never on drugs when I write blog posts, though I can see why you would think I was. I have been known to drink some wine while writing though.  

Q: I think it's funny that you call your parents Sarah and Todd. Do you think Sarah Palin is the Antichrist? 

A: My parents think it is funny too.  They jokingly now refer to themselves as Sarah and Todd at times. I don't think Sarah Palin is the Antichrist...I think she is an idiot. 

Q. Hey Bristol...How is Sarah and Todd today!!!!!!!

A: You are funny....

Q. Are the things you write about true or are these fiction? 

A: It's all true. I could never make this up!  I have an imagination but it's not this good! 

Q: You are hot...would you accept e-mails from chicks? If not, I will be a guy...

A: If I can't find a guy soon, I may consider it...but only if this is someone on my list....

Q: If you didn't have Chloe, what kind of dog would you have?

A: If I didn't have Chloe, I would have a cat....or a fennic fox...I would probably pick a pug, cause I love Zoe...and pigs. 

Q: Why are you so conceited?

A: Because I am a hot piece of arse, I am a television star, I am freaking hilarious, I have a beautiful dog, I make amazing food, take gorgeous photos, have awesome hair, have the most bright blue eyes that people get lost in, write poems that make people cry, have an impeccable taste in music, quit smoking all by myself, and take 2 "I am better than you" pills each morning.

Q. Why do you watch CNN? Why do you hate FOX News? (This is probably a boring answer until the end)

A: Let's start with FOX News...seriously, I realize that FOX News has a big following...for someone who has a more conservative outlook on news, politics, etc, I believe in their right to watch it. For my real answer...it sucks, plain and simple. This is my opinion -   It is totally biased, their anchors/hosts make me want to throw things at my television, they LIE, they have Sarah Palin on way too much, I don't like Greta Van Susteren's plastic surgery results  and get a little scared when she is on screen, (like I need my childhood blankie scared) and just the mention of the network gives me heartburn and nausea...

Now CNN - In all honesty...I only started watching CNN because I thought Anderson Cooper was hot...that was years ago. I also have an old man crush on Wolf Blitzer and think Jack Cafferty is hilarious. (I am watching it right now...He seriously just said Sarah Palin can't see India from her house!!! Pure old man comedy)   If I went with what I fully believe, I would probably watch MSNBC all the time...however, they are very left leaning...and though I go for that, and definitely watch it, I try to be responsible and get a less leftist view of the world and feel CNN is a little more in the middle than extreme left or extreme right. If I get real honest...I actually only watch CNN in the mornings (when Golden Girls isn't on)/afternoon...unless there is someone great on Piers Morgan Tonight I want to see...

(If you skipped the FOX News vs CNN rant above, join us here...If I sent you a special "Are you Mentioned Message", you are mentioned down here!)

 I want to leave you today with some words of coded wisdom from me to you...ok...from me to my favorite "Hater". If you are not the "Hater" you may stop reading if you wish...you may also just want to figure out where my brain is going with this, if you are someone who likes mysteries and code...

I will always fight for the voice of an angel that touches my soul, England is where my heart lies. 

Effects that go far beyond notes on a page and transport a mind across time and space. 

I will always cheer for the one who unexpectedly entered my dream, in auburn and blue. Fear stands in the way and the unknown looms. I push away and still the universe makes it happen. I wait for the sign from the south. Discretion is mandatory.

I will always soar when adversity appears. I have never walked the same path as others. Though others think they know whats right, I feel the direction I need to travel. Coins fall from cups.

I will always stand against the cold and empty wind. I will report what I see and know, bringing cheer to some, terror to others, all with the same words. We all have a place, mine is set, is yours?

Day in Review - Panties on the Sidewalk and 3D Porn.

Thursday....almost the weekend.  I never really have a real weekend though since I currently am working 7 days a week. There is a different feel to those days, however. Like I switch the CD from Adele to The Decemberists....(Both absolutely AMAZING music!!!!!)


Please, if you like this blog, share it with your friends...leave me comments. Become a follower! What do you want to hear about? What do you want to know? Lets chat! (Unless you are going to send me penis pictures...in which case I don't want to chat)

So....

I found some panties on the sidewalk today.  There I was...walking down West 9th in Cleveland and I see something pink in the middle of the sidewalk. I move in to investigate....

Yes. They were panties. On the sidewalk. At noon.  Pink with a blue elastic band and a little bow.  I have a similar pair myself....

Pink Panties - a drink...unfortunately not the pink panties I found today...

At this point I wondered if I should move them or if it was OK to leave these panties in the middle of the sidewalk. Surely I was not the first person to see them, right? I thought about picking them up...(only because I am one of those trash picker-uppers who like to see the city look clean!)

Seriously, what was I thinking!  Who knows what kind of nasty gonorrhea I could get from discarded, nasty, dirty underwear. I could have gotten the Herps!

So I left them...if anyone is missing a pair of pink panties with a blue elastic band and a little bow, they are right near West 9th and Lakeside.  My aunt said they may be hers, but I think she was joking...at least I hope she was....

Moving on....

I just need to get this out of my system right now because I am still chuckling over it and I know I won't stop until I write this down. Was watching CNN today, as I usually do in the afternoon (I say watching, but it was really on in the background on the TV behind me) and I hear "3D Porn"...of course, I have to look and see what the deal is.  Long story short (this isn't the funny part yet) it's pretty much exactly what it sounds like...available in Europe, certain times only, blah, blah, blah.  The hilarious part about this was while anchor Brooke Baldwin is hiding her face behind a piece of paper blushing, CNN Business Correspondent Alison Kosik says with a smile, "It's 3D so it makes you feel like you are in on the action". This was, perhaps the funniest few seconds of news I have seen in a long time.  It has been seriously 20 minutes and I am still laughing about it.  I know, I know....Tunisia, Stock Market, Westboro Baptist (Yes, God is still watching you, idiots), all this seriousness in the news...but that moment of utter hilarity totally made my day. Thank you Alison Kosik.  I need that.

I know...none of you probably see the humor in that story...you may have to be partially insane as I am.  I LOVE the news!  I generally DO NOT like news anchors...

I went off on some people today about news anchors though...I will talk about that a bit later...though not in this post. I will have to get all fired up again.  There are a few I like and trust...Katie Couric, Anderson Cooper, Wolf Blitzer, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow (I like them, you can like whoever you want, but I better not see the names "Gl*nn B*ck", "Sh*p*rd Sm*th" or "B*ll O'R**lly" in my comments section or in any "nastygrams" to me. If you want to put that trash online, do it on your own blog.)

Unless they are one of my "faves", I usually don't take them extremely seriously. I think before long there will be a few more added to the list.  I like Brooke Baldwin...not yet in love with her, but she's definitely working on me...she seems smart from what I can tell.  I know the minor tricks of the trade from A) watching so much news B) taking several classes in news production and C) because I am fairly smart (Believe it!) I think she is generally smart. Smart is important to me when it comes to news. Smart is how you get on my list of "faves".....

(Edit...since publication, Brooke Baldwin has informed me that she loves The Decemberists, I can move "not yet in love" up to "LOVE!!!!!")

WHICH IS WHY I GOT SO PISSED OFF TODAY AND NEARLY LOST MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!   (Remember this post and these comments...because I am going to come back to them at some point in the near future.)

In closing, I have two confessions...this is, after all called "Confessions of a Girl", right?  My first one is....I am back on the M&M's....I passed them today and couldn't help myself. I will try harder next time....I did do a little 30 minute work out, so I don't feel totally 100% guilty. 

My 2nd confession is semi related and was likely the cause of buying the M&M's. As I was going into my first stop of the day today...I saw a cigarette...a brand new, just out of the pack cigarette....sitting on the little outside ash tray. I wanted it.  I wanted to pick it up.  I wanted to take it with me. I had a rough, stressful morning...I started to reach for it....

Then I thought....CHRISTA!  What the HELL are you doing taking a random CIGARETTE from a NASTY ashtray that you don't even know where it's been????

I walked away...the addict  in me was suppressed.  Soon after I saw the pink panties and this post will go full circle.

Come to think of it though, I could have gotten the Herps from that cigarette too! Weird!