Day in Review - Celebrations All Around

 Before I even start this post, my sweet (or bad...depending on your view point) dog Chloe is featured on a very special post written by my dear friend and confidant Cletis Stump. Check it out if you like dogs: Dogs of Twitter #1

This is the story of two celebrations...

It seems like it is a time of celebration in my life...hopefully you have something to celebrate as well.  One of these celebrations I have been counting down the days for...another was sprung upon me via a surprise text message.

Let's be real though...just because something should be celebrated, doesn't mean I want to hear about it.

Let's start with that first....ever since my parents "Sarah" and "Todd" have learned to text, I have enjoyed a new way to communicate with them.  It is great that I can just text Todd and say "I need new windshield wipers"....3 months later, like magic....they appear.  (Of course I have to drive an hour to get them, but I am not complaining...just stating a fact) Texting with them is great...really...

I know a lot of people make fun of their parents texting, but I will not be one of them. (They have had their moments, don't get me wrong!)

I enjoy texts. I feel like it is the easiest way to say what you need to say when you need to say it.  I think I am probably pretty no-nonsense and just want to get to the point in most situations.  I don't like a lot of dribble, drama or drawn out stories.  Get to the point. (This reminds me of my friend Cher...who never gets to the point. Don't be a Cher...get to the point and lets go get a drink)

So back to my parents texting..."Todd" sent me a text on January 26th...just a few days ago...it said this...

"happy birthday today is the day you were conceived"

Yes....you read that correctly....my DAD...sent me a TEXT...telling me that it was the anniversary of my CONCEPTION.  Let me just walk you through the thoughts that went through my head...

"What does that say?"

"No...."

"Is that really what is says?"

"Wait....what?"

"Conception?  No...."

"Oh shit...."

At that point I started laughing uncontrollably. It took everything I had to pick up my phone and hit "Send".

Of course, he picked up with a chuckle...and I could hear "Sarah" cackling in the background.  They thought it was hilarious.

Through my extreme laughter I told them to NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER mention this to me again. I believe I said something like "I did NOT need to know about that nastinest"

They brought it up a few days later when I went to do laundry...still chuckling...still bringing the awkwardness upon me...still insuring embarrassing and awkward moments after all these years...

So yes...the first thing we are celebrating is my conception.  Hurrah for the Blizzard of 78....Let's just move on to the real celebration...

Today, February 1st, is my 1 year anniversary....of no smoking.  No nicotine....no cigarettes.  The last cigarette I had was the morning of February 1st, 2011.  I can't believe it has been that long.  Let's rewind for a bit...

I won't get into a long, inspirational story....you either believe it, or you don't.  You think I am crazy or you don't. I could care less.

I had a dream and my dream became a prophetic dream. There was a stranger in my dream that my departed grandmother (who was in my dream) introduced me to...in my dream. My grandmother told me this stranger would be significant to me. The stranger in my dream became the stranger in front of my very real eyes that said "Don't smoke". I listened to a stranger. The stranger inspired me and inspires me to this day.  I thank God for the stranger every day...I pray for the stranger every day. I consider the stranger a sort of hero or dare I say friend, though it's certainly not mutual.

Every time I feel weak and feel like I want to smoke, I think of the stranger. I love the stranger for this. That inspiration is amazing. The stranger has no idea what they did for me.  Perhaps someday I can say thank you in person. If nothing else, we will share a love of music, politics, news and damn...we both have the most amazing eyes you have ever seen...

Like I said...believe the story or don't...judge if you like.  I don't care.  I don't smoke anymore and it shouldn't matter why or how I quit.

What matters is I don't smoke...and I gained 20 pounds because I don't smoke.

I think I blocked those first weeks out.  They were a swirl of sleeping pills, Dum Dums and Peanut Butter M and Ms. When you sleep, you don't have cravings and when you are awake and have cravings, candy makes it dandy...not really...it only makes it a bit less like hell...like you are standing in the fires of hell, but you have candy, so it's better.Make sense?

Semi-Sustainable Food

Candy...especially M and Ms...are not fat free.  when you are sustained and living on chocolate, fake peanut butter and a candy shell that melts in your mouth and not your hands, you gain weight.

I would say I probably put on 20 pounds....I have, over the year, lost about 5, but I am still 15 pounds heavier than I was before and it sucks the big one.

As I told "Sarah" the other night, I could probably lose more if I laid off the wine a bit, but hey, a girl has to have some vices in life, right? I cannot live without some substance running through my veins. Luckily my hours at the gym each week burns the same amount of calories that I consume from wine.

I eat very well (healthy), I fry nothing, I don't eat fast food...

I drink wine and I love every drop. I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't have addictions (music doesn't count).  None of that helps me lose these 15-20 pounds though. Sometimes I honestly consider picking up the cigarettes again.  I know what you are going to say...don't do it.  I know the stranger would haunt me, but I know the weight would come off.

Why can't I just go on the 1990's Gwyneth Paltrow diet of a bottle of gin and 2 packs a day? (For the record, I didn't smoke 2 packs a day...EVER). It seems very easy...

It is just my mind...it's playing tricks on me.  It has played tricks on me every day since February 1st, 2011. It tells me that I should smoke...

Every day I tell it "No".

It may be a fleeting thought, but it is always there.

I can pick out smokers easily...I track them like a bloodhound.

I breathe a little bit deeper around them..I want to just smell the smoke.  Some ex-smokers can't stomach the smell...me?  I love it...but only the fresh smoke smell...not the stale smell. There is a difference. Think I'm gross?  Maybe...

If you have never smoked and think I am gross, I honestly don't care for your opinion. If you are someone else...like Kellie Jones, who was a HUGE help during this process, and for the record gone through the same thing, I may be more inclined to hear you talk about my grossness or my fatness.

For anyone reading this who smokes.  No, I will never, ever judge you. I will never hound you to quit. I won't think anything different about you. I will love you, cigarette and all. (I may ask to just smell your hair) I know how sucky it is to be constantly hounded and reminded that cigarettes are bad. Do people think we don't know that? Do people think we don't know what they do?  Do people honestly think propping up a diseased lung is going to stop the cravings? Hell, I used to smoke and look at diseased lungs at the same time.

The addiction is strong...it is gnarly...it holds on with an iron grip. I don't know how I pulled it away. I don't know how I stopped.

I don't think I did it alone.

Think? No, I know I didn't do it alone. I had something I can't explain. Something more powerful than me.

It has been a year.

Day in Review - Facebook Unfriending and Politics

I'll be honest....I do a bit a Facebook stalking. (Some may call this "creeping") Don't judge me...you all do it. You know what I mean...you see that Facebook has some "great" friend suggestions for you and you know who these people are, but you don't really like them and you certainly don't want them all up in your life, so you don't add...you just stalk their profile a bit.

So I was innocently doing this today...and all of a sudden I notice that someone I thought was my Facebook friend was friends with someone I was stalking...and I was sad.

I was sad that I didn't make the cut on their friend list.  I was sad that our past friendship meant nothing.  I was sad that this person who de-friended me (we will call him "Dan"..of course this is a pseudonym) used to hang out with my mom when she briefly worked at the schools. I had been to his house, we used to hang out in similar groups in school and I even had a crush on him for awhile. The "high school self" that is in my personality was crushed. "Dan" de-friended me and I didn't even realize it. But the worst was yet to come.

This denial was tough, but what was even tougher was the fact that it brought up an even worse memory.  My first "de-friend" ever...I will never forget it and it still feels like a raw cut in my heart when I think about it. When you are friends with someone from childhood, knew their entire family, absolutely adored this person and supported them through everything they had gone through..(for the record, it was a lot)...then they de-friend you...it hurts.  It cuts deep. It still brings pain after all these years. He is still friends with some of my lifelong best friends and my photo albums and boxes are filled with pictures of him from our youth. He was one of my first friends ever...and one of the first to de-friend me on Facebook.

Ok...I am being a bit sarcastic and dramatic here.  One of these "de-friending" incidents I could care less about ("Dan"). The other one did upset me, but only because I seriously thought we were friends.

Facebook is intertwined into all of our lives. (Or maybe just mine) I have laughed, cried, cheered and jeered things that I have seen on Facebook. It is an amazing way to keep in touch, a great way to keep up on what is going on with your friends and family and a super way to stalk...errr  creep....um....

We love Facebook!

In other news, the paparazzi is hot on my trail.  (Don't get excited...this is the ONE member of the CLEVELAND paparazzi) You have surely heard of the lone paparazzi attack at my gym which happened two weeks ago, right? Today, I had another experience with the CLE paparazzi.  I was innocently driving down West 9th today and got stuck at a light. I was doing what most people do when stopped at a light. (I think...) I was playing with my iPod and checking my phone when I saw a flash. I looked up into my rear view mirror and there is a man with a camera...in his car...and he is taking pictures.

Before you ask, he was not taking a photo of my license plate nor was he a cop. I have no bumper stickers or anything that stands out on my car. (Typical silver SUV that you see driving down the highways and biways) I don't have hilarious vanity plates. (Nor would I ever get them...they are called vanity plates for a reason, people!) Let's get back to the story.

After I saw the flash and saw the man in the car behind me, I just stared into my mirror and observed.  Once again, he raised his camera and took a photo. No flash this time. For anyone who is familiar for the downtown CLE area, I was at the light on W 9th and Superior, turning towards Huron.  The camera was pointed upwards...if I was just a casual observer, I would say he was taking a picture of the sky...which was grey...and had nothing significant about it. The only thing it could be is that I have gotten too famous as a CLE celebrity and now have the paparazzi following me.

I didn't have make-up on, nor had I done much with my hair.  I am sure you will see the picture in next week's "Scene Magazine". I am probably going to have to leave town and I swear I will start wearing make-up each time I step outside.Can't take anymore chances.

You know I am being highly dramatic again, right?  I just want to make sure because I hate getting nasty-grams about this blog.

Who watched the State of the Union? I did...per usual...though I have to say with the invention of Facebook and Twitter, it is certainly more difficult to pay attention to what the President is saying. I have lost all faith in government so I was much more concerned with Hillary Clinton's headband and John Boehner's tan. Dude...he is from Ohio...it is winter time...there is barely enough sun for human's to survive, not to mention enough to get a tan. (FAKE, FAKE, FAKE)

I am a politics geek and don't miss these things. Nor do I miss debates, even when they are on the GOP side. It fascinates me, I have to admit. Judge me as you will, I love them and I won't stop watching. I even make Chloe watch them and even dress her for the occasion. Tonight she is wearing a blue sweater.

Do I even have to mention that even though I am certainly Liberal and tend to vote Democrat, that I am not a huge Obama fan? Hell, I voted for Hillary in the primaries and would vote for her again. (This is another attempt to limit the nasty-grams I may receive from this post about how bad Obama is...in this case, I may even agree on some things)

HOWEVER...I don't care who you are...rather you love or hate him, he is the President of this country and deserves some type of respect.  (Before you send a nasty-gram to me, no, I did not like George Bush's policies in any way, shape or form, but I still respected his position.) God help you if you say one word to me and you did not vote in the last election. You have absolutely no right to say anything to anyone if you didn't get off your lazy ass and vote. If you want to complain about this President and didn't vote, spout off...but don't spout off to me. I would have more respect for George Bush than you, and that is saying something. I am more than willing to debate ideals with someone who actually VOTED for McCain and *ahem* Palin. (Oh lord...now I sound like Newt...debate, debate, debate)

Ugh...enough politics now, even for me.

On that note...who is registered to vote? Time is running out. If you want to register to vote, go here: http://www.rockthevote.org/ 


Til next time...