Day in Review - Online Dating Disasters and Me

Let's talk about dating sites again and my quest for the perfect partner for my personal persona.

This one almost had me at hello...until I decided I couldn't date someone who was Kermit the Frog's doppelganger.

Sorry, but I am not Miss Piggy...

 "So my goal is to give you something very happy to blog about - finding a guy who meets your desires! Seriously though I think we do have a lot in common - politically I am liberal, I adore animals, I've traveled quite a bit, I'm very well educated, would like to have kids, yadda yadda yadda!"


As he has asked...I am blogging about it. Guys...seriously.  I am not particularly shallow...I don't think.  Honestly, I never really thought I was that picky when it comes to looks.  I am not looking for Brad Pitt here...just a decent looking guy!  I am a decent looking girl.  No, I am not a 10...but let's be real...I don't think I am matched with a guy who is a 2 - 2.5! When you look at couples, their attractiveness scale is usually pretty similar...(unless the guy has millions)  I have dated plenty of decent looking guys. I know they are out there. I see them all the time.

Looks are not everything.  Looks fade.

In a relationship though, shouldn't there be at least a little bit of physical attraction????  Shouldn't you be with someone who is at least partially good looking to your eyes? I dated a guy last year...we'll call him "Dave".  He was not attractive to me at all.  Nice guy, but seriously...I didn't even want to touch him...he would try to kiss me and I would have to think of someone else....no joke. He was at my place watching a movie and laying on my bed on my "guest pillow".  It was grossing me out that he was even laying on my bed. As soon as he left, I put clean sheets on. I was trying SO hard to make myself like him, but I couldn't. My mom kept telling me to give these relationships time, but if I can't even stomach someone laying on my bed, I don't think I should be dating him.

I even tried to test myself by going through people I knew...would I be grossed out if Harry was laying on my bed? No. Would I be grossed out if Charlie was laying on my bed? No.  Would I be grossed out if Alexis was laying on my bed? Nope. Would I be grossed out if Abby was laying on my bed? No...and so on...

My big point is....with this "blog about me" guy...I don't even want to look at his picture...thinking about him even sitting on my sofa is a little nasty. Why would I write him back?

Maybe I am a little shallow???  I just want a guy who is normal looking!  That's it!  No Kermit the Frog/Quasimodo/Rosie O'Donnell in Reverse Drag...What do you think?  Let me know.

I will say though...over the past few days....I may be developing a crush on someone....will let you know if I decide to do anything about it...

Day in Review - Quasimodo's Cousin Wrote to Me Today

Yay Tuesday! Except it's Wednesday, isn't it...I seriously just wrote that and it is too damn funny to erase. I guess I was so excited to relive Tuesday, it was some sort of psychological, Freud inspired slip. (Not sure why, as yesterday was pretty blah)



Not a peep from penis guy today, but I do want to let you know I am not the only person this has happened to.  I stumbled upon this blog today - Pursuit Blog.(<---Click here to check it out)   Yes.  She has gotten the (now infamous on this blog) penis pic...though probably not the same one I got, of course. (At least I hope not) The weirdest thing about this is she is from Cleveland...is it only Clevelander's who feel the need to share their penile pics with random girls? Is this a regional practice? I will say not likely, as I got several tallywaker pics while I was in New York as well. Perhaps an eastern side of the county thing?  Who knows.  Whatever it is...just stop sending them PLEASE!  I wonder what Freud would think?

In other news, I am not watching American Idol. I have never watched it and I don't particularly care much about it.

After my horrendous experience with the last guy, I found I was able to take a baby step into the dating foray again today and signed into an online dating site I am a member of. I signed on for about 5 minutes, didn't see anything I particularly liked and went back to work. A few minutes later, my Blackberry light went on signaling to me I had an e-mail!  Woo Hoo! (It doesn't take a whole hell of a lot to get me excited sometimes, as you can see)

It was from the dating site! I had received a new message! This could be the one...my future husband.  My soul mate. The man I will grow old with. The father of my future children. We could meet on this site and live happily ever after. Love at first site. (These are the thoughts racing through my head as I click open the site to check my new e-mail)


WARNING: I am not trying to be offensive in the following paragraphs...just not for me...

It was from user "God4All123". (Let me pause and say I made this screen name up, but it is very similar to the actual one.) I click on his profile first and take a look....Seriously?  Really?  These are the guys I can attract?  He is listed as 48 years old. He weighs about 450.  (Guestimate on my part based on his photos) He has 1 front tooth missing. 2 out of 3 of his real photos were dated 2006.  The rest of his 10 photos are various crosses and pictures of the crucifixion of Jesus. Oh, and one of an ugly cat.  On to the written section....

The first three (!!!!!) paragraphs were about his love for God and why his perfect match will join him in this journey.  Yes. I believe in God. Yes. I pray. Yes. I believe God has brought me to this place for a reason. Yes. I have read the entire Bible...twice. But.....I attend the Church of Christa.  I have my own way of doing what I do faith wise. I do not like being told what to believe and I am not really the type of person who advertises my beliefs. I have a personal relationship with God and that's how I roll....

The last paragraph was full of spelling mistakes, horribly bad grammar, and the fact that he is allergic to dogs....Yes. I spell things wrong at times. Yes. I make grammatical errors at times. BUT NOT IN A POST WHERE I AM TRYING TO ATTRACT A MATE!!!!   I HAVE A FREAKING DOG!!!

I take a deep breath and finally read the e-mail....subject is "hi their little ladie"  Grrrr.


It says: "im trying 2 find out if u found anyone yet,,if not will u except a chat request? you are beautiful and my heart warmed when i saw your photos. your eyes are like the bluie skies."  (What do you know!  He is a poet too! This was an exact copy and paste of the e-mail by the way)

Once I finished chuckling, I politely wrote back and said "Thanks for the e-mail. At this time I do not believe we are a great match. It does not seem like we have a lot in common.  I appreciate your comments and wish you luck in your search".  Was that mean? Inappropriate?  A little dry maybe, but I was trying to be nice and reply to the poor guy.

About 1 minute later I get another flash on my BlackBerry and another e-mail about a message on the site.  Yes...it is from him.  It says (Again, copied and pasted)
"well just wanted 2 tell u about me alittle bit anyways im looking 4 my queen i am very nice ..i joke around a lot but im look 4 the one that makes me happy. im a mannager going into a directors possion...i dont drink and im staying that way..i love the out doors. I have an asociates degree in business. i would love 2 have kids more than 2...if i find my queen ,,is it ?"

UMMMMM  NO!  I AM NOT YOUR QUEEN!!!! 

I didn't respond....I did my nice, polite e-mail and now done with him.  Perhaps I will find my soul mate tomorrow...it is another day, after all.

PS...While I was writing this post, I got another flash on my BlackBerry...It is from MySpace (which I haven't signed onto in about 2 years) saying "Russell Simmons friended you on MySpace"  I have to go check this out!!!!!!!!