Showing posts with label Princess Beatrice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Princess Beatrice. Show all posts

Friday, May 20, 2011

Day in Review - Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Assholes...or Whack -A-Doos.

 It's Friday...the end of another week...perhaps the final week for some of you...should you be one of the 200 million with a fast-track ticket to Heaven.  Seriously...this stuff cracks me up. I have some more to say about it but first have to vent about something...

As this could be my final blog post in pre-Armageddon, I would like to urge all of you men and women who have sons to please raise them right.  There are too many assholes on this earth.  Once again...4th time in a row...2nd guy in a row....yours truly was stood up.  Actually, I don't even know if I would call it stood up...it was just a non-communication issue. See, last night I had a date...so I thought. Wednesday I specifically sent a message to this guy that said "Are we still on for tomorrow?"  His response: "Yup!  Can't wait!".  Now maybe I am just an IDIOT, but when I see "Yup! Can't wait!" I expect some sort of positive action or positive result...I do not expect dead air.  Dead air, however, is what I got...I texted him again at 11:31 am on Thursday...saying "What's up?  What time is good to meet tonight?" Tick tock tick tock goes the clock....nada..nil....zero response.  I then signed onto the dating site I met him on, plentyoffish.com....he was online....so I sent him another message on the website saying he was rude, disrespectful and if he can get online he can certainly give me the respect to send a text saying "I can't go" or whatever his pathetic, random excuse was...I'm sure it would have been a lie...

The problem I am having is this: more often than not, guys I meet seem to pull this shit...and they think it is OK.  Guess what....It's not OK. It is hurtful, rude, disrespectful, despicable, cowardly and idiotic. I am a grown up. If you don't want to go out with me, I can handle it. I will shake your hand, wish you luck and go along about my day with not so much a regret.  However, when you reel me in with e-mails and phone calls and begging me to go out with you, telling me I am attractive and how you think we have so much in common then IGNORE me....I take issue with that...BIG TIME.  This is an epidemic...it is not just one guy.  Last night...I had a date....my friend had a date...both of us got canceled on...so we went out together.  Honestly? I probably had a better time with her than I would have had with that guy.

So once again, I am losing faith in the male species...I really just do not get it. I never had any brothers, just a sister that beat me up like a brother would (She once dragged me across the yard by my hair because I wouldn't go get a basketball in the neighbors yard)...I do have male cousins though, and they were raised right. I could never, ever see them treating anyone like these guys have treated me, my friend and all the other 30 something single women out there. Those boys...now men...treat people with respect...all people, not  just women. Maybe my Aunt Debi should write a book and sell it to mothers of sons....or I will just take any book and shove it down the throat of the next guy who pulls this shit with me...

Lets talk about Judgment Day.  It's supposedly in a matter of hours. At 6:00 pm local time, the Rapture will begin. (This, according to Harold Camping and his whack-a-doo followers.) Seriously...people have wiped out their savings, sold their homes and have nothing because they have spent thousands on advertising the May 21st date. I wonder what they will do on Sunday?


I was doing some thinking today and in trying to see the silver lining in everything, I came up with these five awesome things about the Rapture. Since 200 million of the roughly 7 billion people on this Earth will magically be taken up to the heavens according to the whack-a-doo's, I think there should be something to look forward to for those of us who are left.
 
1. Lower gas prices - You know, that whole supply and demand thing...
2. Unemployment rate will plummet - Since 200 million will be taken up to the heavens, think of the job openings that will come out of this.
3. A lot of free stuff - With the people just well....gone..those of us who are left (AKA the "Sinners")  will have some fine looting available. At that point, I figure since we know we are going to hell anyway...why not?
4. No more telemarketing or courtesy calls - Though I am on the "Do Not Call" list, I seriously end up reporting a telemarketer at least once a month for calling me.
5. Doomsday survival kits - For $12.99 you can purchase a kit with ear plugs, a can of air, a communion wafer, a shower cap and a Mayan calendar drink coaster. (I don't quite get the shower cap)

I want to add before closing up this post, the Princess Beatrice hat I want so badly has gone up to $102,430.....hey, it's the end of the world...probably a fake bid. 

Friday, May 13, 2011

Day in Review – It’s the End of the World and I Feel Fine...

What’s shaking?  We have a lot to discuss tonight!  We can’t even have a real introduction because this blog post is full of nonsense that must be presented to my readers.

Have you heard of Harold Camping? If you don’t know the name, you probably know the voice if you are a random scanner on a car radio. He is the guy that hosts 24 hours a day of Family Radio...a random station that is centered on extremely conservative religious twaddle...He sounds like he is about 157 years old and is one of the people who take the Bible literally. Eye for an eye stuff...anywho...he has “predicted” the end of the world by using an extremely...well, idiotic...way of interpreting the Bible. He claims that God has put the dates of Judgment and the End of Times in the Bible, and man just had to figure it out...Harold, says he is the man who did...after all these centuries, Harold Camping was put on Earth to say God put the exact date of Judgment into the Bible.

Perhaps Harold is unaware that God did not actually write the Bible...

I made a mistake earlier if you have read my Facebook post...I am confident enough in myself to admit if I make a mistake, so I am now confessing....I made a mistake.  The end of the world will not be May 21st, 2011 as I posted on Facebook....that is apparently Judgment Day.  The end of the world will be on October 21st, 2011...just before my birthday.  Really? Neither of them are very convenient days for me to be honest, but since I don’t believe a word of Harold’s musings, it isn’t really making me lose sleep. 

If you know anything about what the Bible says, (I have read it, cover to cover three times...random fact, use it as you will) on Judgment Day, or the Rapture, the chosen people of God will magically be taken to Heaven and those who are left will endure the 7 signs of the Apocalypse. Harold’s website says he will no longer be on Earth, but you should watch his page for blog posts on May 22nd  through October 21st, 2011.  It seems he has recruited a sinner who is on their way to Hell on 10/21 to keep up the blog for him. 

I’m sorry. I cannot continue because I am laughing so hard and may pee myself.  

I will be having a party for my birthday on October 24th, 2011...if you are reading this, you are invited.  For those who are wondering, it will be on Earth, not in Hell.  I sunburn too easily.

Moving on, my friends...

So, you know this post would not be complete without the latest dating news...so I picked up another guy online.  We talked, really got to know each other over the phone, planned to meet....he cancelled...now trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, he DID say he wasn’t totally sure this particular date would work for him...HOWEVER...lets fast forward 4 days...you all know my dear friend, Laurel...I talk about her often.  She sends me a message today...HE MESSAGED HER ON THE DATING SITE!!!!  Of course she didn’t write back or anything, but he and I got into a discussion about it.  He sent me messages all day saying he really wants to see me and I should give him a chance...blah, blah, blah.

Two more things...or four more, but they are small-ish.

I feel the need to let you know that Princess Beatrice’s hat which was famously worn on her head (or attacked her head, in my opinion) during the Royal Wedding is listed on ebay.  Any of you who will not be scooped up on Judgment Day and will be attending my birthday party, feel free to pick it up. I would love it.  Starting bid is $8,229.
Yes...this was serious....
 
I wanted to share this sign I saw today....I couldn’t get a photo, but I was able to do a rendition on my laptop.  It seriously makes me worry for civilization....and for Cleveland...

Just picture this, just as I have it here....on a sign in someone's yard...


Speaking of Cleveland, I really need to recommend the show “Hot in Cleveland”.  It is on TV Land on Wednesday nights at 10:00pm ET. Hi-freakin-larious.  In last night’s 30 minute episode, I laughed out loud 7 times. 

Finally, I need to do some shout outs.  These are a few blogs that I like to read and want to share them with you: 




Check them out!