Day in Review: Why I am Still Single and a Special Thank You - Part 1

Hello. I am 32 years old and as single as a numeral uno...how bout you? How has your week been? This is a two part post. The first part discussing how I solved a mystery, the 2nd how my life was saved by a random event. Both are momentous in my life and both are insignificant in everyone elses life. That's just how life rolls....

Part 1: Mystery Solved

Picture it...Cleveland, 2011...a poor writer discussing her life with an old friend. The poor writer is sick and tired of being alone so she shares her woes with a friend. The friend shares her advice and the poor writer is struck by the simplicity of said advice. Perhaps this is what she has been needing.  Perhaps this is the secret....What was this magical information?

"You are way too independent...you won't let a man take care of you".

Those were the words of my friend. (I am the poor writer if you haven't caught on)  I spoke with a fiend one the phone and that was her thought....I am single because I am too independent.

It makes sense to me on one hand...on the other, I wish for someone who can just be my equal partner and look past the lack of "need" and focus on the "want".

She is right, my life-long friend.  I don't need a man. I have cared and supported myself for years. Though I am a poor writer at the moment, I left the corporate world for a reason.  I followed my heart.  I made a lot of money a few short years ago...more than many people make...but I wasn't following my dream...I put the wheels in motion and set myself on a new path...an unknown path...and I found happiness.  I don't need a man...I want an equal partner. Is that too much to ask?

That being said, I still don't need a man to support me. I certainly didn't before and I don't now. Is that what men want? A woman who will really be the submissive one in the relationship?  I can't do that and I won't do it.  If that's what it takes then I won't marry. It confuses me because I see so many strong women in my life...  I was born into a family of strong women.  Hell...even my dog will stand up to any dog in the area, even those 4 times her weight.  (She is single too, by the way, but only because I make her choose that life!)

Is this what I am missing?  Is the big secret the fact that I should act like I "need" a man versus want a man? Do I need to play the role of the damsel in distress and wait for my prince to come sweep me off my feet?  I would much rather be the Queen on the throne and have the knights in shining armor fight for the love of the Queen.  Perhaps I am just totally disillusioned? Who has words of wisdom?

I am at a loss.  Of course I think I am not fit enough or pretty enough or smart enough...because that is what society teaches women.  I will never be as pretty as the women on TV (They have professional make-up people and 3 inches of foundation...seriously, have you SEEN TV make-up?) . I will never be as fit as models in magazines (They have personal trainers and cocaine....well, some do) I will never be smarter than I am supposed to be.  I didn't go to Harvard and I can't go back in time to change that.  What I do know is I have amazingly beautiful eyes and the beginnings of nice biceps, and 2 college degrees (One in History, the other in Communications with an emphasis in TV/Radio Broadcasting)

Is that enough for someone?  Only time will tell, I suppose.  In the meantime, I am focusing on me...and my accomplishments.  Like quitting smoking, which will bring us to part 2...

PS...this was more of a "tongue in cheek" post than anything. Don't take it too seriously :) Discussion is fantastic though.  I love hearing people's views on issues.  Thanks to Heather, Katie and Elisha for really getting into the discussion on Facebook.